Paul's Boutique

1989, Grand Royal Records/Capitol Records
Produced by Beastie Boys/Dust Brothers/Mario Caldato Jr.
Annotations: soopageek

To All The Girls
Shake Your Rump
Johnny Ryall
Eggman
High Plains Drifter
Sounds of Science
3 Minute Rule
Hey Ladies
5 Piece Chicken Dinner
Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun
Car Thief
What Comes Around
Shadrach
Ask For Janice
B-Boy Bouillabaisse
    a) 59 Chrystie Street
    b) Get on the Mic
    c) Stop That Train
    d) Year and a Day
    e) Hello Brooklyn
    f)Dropping Names
    g) Lay it on Me
    h) Mike on the Mic
    i) A.W.O.L.


To All the Girls
Keyboard sample:
    "Loran Dance" - Idris Muhammad.

Yea...
To all the Brooklyn girls
To all the French girls
To all the Oriental girls
Chinese...
Japanese...
To all the Swiss girls
To the Italian women
To the upper east side nubiles
To all the Jamaican girls
And to the top-less dancers
Australian...
And Brazilian
To the southern belles
To the Puerto Rican girls
To the stewardesses flying around the world...

Shake Your Rump
Known samples:
    Opening drum roll:     "Funky Snakefoot" - Alphonse Mouzon (1973).
    Primary beat sample: "Dancing Room Only" - Harvey Scales (1977).
    Additional beats:        "Super Mellow" -  Paul Humphrey
                                        "Good Times, Bad Times" - Led Zeppelin (1969).
     Additional samples:    "6 O’Clock DJ" - Rose Royce (1976).
                                         "Born To Love You" - Rose Royce (1976).
                                         "Yo Yo" - Rose Royce (1976).
                                         "Jazzy Sensation" - Afrika Bambaataa & the Jazzy 5 (1981).
                                         "Tell Me Something Good" - Ronnie Laws (1975).
                                         "Get Off" - Foxy (1978).

Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat
I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat
a lot of people they be jonesin' just to hear me rock the mic
they'll be staring at the radio,staying up all night
so like a pimp I'm pimpin'
I got a boat to eat shrimp in
Nothing wrong with my leg I'm just B-boy limpin'
Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float
    The Mardi Gras is New Orleans, Louisiana's version of "carnival".  The three day, city-wide party is full of parades and what-not.
My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat
    Yauch's short-lived goatee look gets props.
*oowah oowah* is my disco call
    The above sample could come from any number of places, since it was a fairly common disco call: two possible sources: "Let's All Chant" - Michael Zager Band (1978) and "8th Wonder" - The Sugarhill Gang (1980). Since this same Sugarhill Gang song gets sampled a little later in the song, it's quite possible it came from there.
MCA *hu-huh* I'm gettin' rope y'all
Routines I bust and the rhymes that  I write
And I'll be busting routines and rhymes all night
Like eating burgers or chicken or you'll be picking your nose
I'm on time, homey,  that's how it goes
You heard my style I think you missed the point
*it's the joint *
    sample: "That's the Joint" - Funky 4+1 (1980).

Mike D with your bad self running things
What's up with your bad breath onion rings
I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead
    A rumor going around during the hiatus between Licensed to Ill and Paul's Boutique was that Mike D had OD'd, been murdered, killed by Run-DMC, or whatever version you heard.
Chillin' at the beach down at Club Med
    "Club Med" is an international chain of resort facilities.
Make another record 'cause the people they want more of this
Suckers they be saying they can take out Adam Horovitz
Hurricane you got clout
    The first reference, lyrically to DJ Hurricane, who became their full-time DJ after Doctor Dre quit during the "Together Forever" tour with Run D.M.C.  Since I have received some mail concerning this, I will rectify here any confusion: Doctor Dre should not be confused with Dr. Dre.  Dr. Dre is the former NWA member and producer extraordinaire.  Doctor Dre is the portly guy who used to host Yo! MTV Raps with Ed Lover.  Coincidentally, in case you care: Ed and Dre are still together hosting a radio program in the NYC area.
Other DJ's he'll put your head out
A puppet on a string I'm paid to sing or rhyme
Or do my thing I'm in a lava lamp inside the brain hotel
I might be peakin' or freakin' but I rock well
The Patty Duke Show, the wrench, and then I bust the tango
    The Patty Duke Show was  television program that aired in the 1950's.  Apparently, we learn later on Check Your Head that the Patty Duke is also a dance.
    The tango is a traditional latin dance where the partners strut cheek-to-cheek, very often the female has a rose clenched in her teeth.  Think of Gomez and morticia Adams ;-)
    In this context, it is safe to say that the wrench then must also be a dance manuever of Mike D's.
Got more rhymes than Jamaica got Mango Kangols
I got the peg leg at the end of my stump
*Shake your rump*
    sample:  "Unity" - Afrika Bambaataa and James Brown (1984).

I'm full clout ya'll, I'm full clout ya'll
And when the mic is in my mouth I turn it out ya'll
I'm full clout...

Never been dumped 'cause I'm the most mackinest
Never been jumped 'cause I'm known the most packinest
    sample: guitar sample for next few measures partially lifted from "Could You Be Loved" - Bob Marley (1980).
Yeah we've got beef chief
We're knocking out teeth chief
And if you don't believe us you should question your belief Keith
Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat
    On The Brady Bunch television series, Alice's boyfriend was Sam the Butcher.
Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet
    Calls to mind the famous image from The Flintstones animated television series from the '60's of Fred powering his car with his feet.
Should I have another sip? naw, skip it
In the back of the ride and bust with the whippets
    "Whippets" is a common name for small cannisters of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for inhaling purposes.
Rope a dope dookies all around the neck
*Whoo ha got them all in check*
    sample: "8th Wonder" - The Sugarhill Gang (1980).
Running from the law the press and the parents
*Is your name Michael Diamond?*
No mine's Clarence
From downtown,  Manhattan,  the village
    Manhattan and Greenwich Village in New York City.
My style is wild and you know that it still is
Disco bag schlepping and you're doing the bump
    The Bump was a popular and very easy disco step in the 1970's.  Basically you just stood beside your partner and bumped your hips together to the rhythm.
*Shake your rump*
    sample:  "Unity" - Afrika Bambaataa and James Brown (1984).

Johnny Ryall
Known samples:
    Wind sample: "One of These Days" - Pink Floyd (1971).
    Beats: "Momma Miss America" - Paul McCartney (1970).
               "Military Cut-Scratch Mix" - Grandwizard Theodore & Kevie Kev Rockwell (1983).
    bass, rhythm, and lead guitar samples: "Sharon" - David Bromberg (1972).
    additional samples: "Magnificent Sanctuary Band" - Donny Hathaway (1971).

Johnny Ryall is the bum on my stoop
I gave him fifty cents to buy some soup
He knows the time with the fresh Gucci watch
    Given the status of Gucci one must assume this is like the Rolexes you can buy at the flea market for 5 dollars. Also a possible reference to "Gucci Time"- Schooly D (1986).
He's even more over than the mayor Ed Koch
    Very popular New York City mayor at the time of this recording.
Washing windows on the Bowery at a quarter to four
    America's most famous skid row, The Bowery in Manhattan, NYC.
'Cause he ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
    "Maggie's Farm"  Bob Dylan (1965).
Living on borrowed time and borrowed money
Sleepin' on the street there ain't a damn thing funny
Hand me down food and hand me down clothes
A rockabilly past of which nobody knows
Makes his home all over the place
He goes to sleep by falling down on his face
Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless
Sometimes drunk and he's always phoneless
Sleepin' on the street in a cardboard box
He's better off drinkin' than smokin' the rocks
Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall
Kickin' uptown
Kickin' downtown
Kickin' crosstown
Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall

He drinks where he lies
He's covered with flies
He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes
    Puma was a popular tennis sneaker in the 1980's but definitely on the way out as credible streetwear in 1989.
    Tie dye fashion consisted of dying cotton fabrics with various colorful dyes while the garment was tied into folds or bunches.  The result was brightly colored clothing approximating an acid trip, hence it's popularity in the 1960's.
Go upstate and get your head together
Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather
    Thunderbird Wine is a cheap wine.
    "Bird is the word" comes from the surf/rockabilly classic "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen (1964)
Detox at the flop house no booze allowed
Remember the good old days with the rockabilly crowd
Memphis is where he's from (in Tennessee)
    Memphis, Tennessee: home of Sun Records. Around 1954, Sam Phillips assembled a group of new, young artists: Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, and Carl Perkins.  While rockabilly was already a musical style, it was largely this group of luminaries, Elvis most notably, that is reponsible for the international phenomenon known as rock and roll.
He lives in the street but he's no bum
A rockabilly star from the days of old
He used to have teeth all filled with gold
A platinum voice but only gold records
On the bass was boots on the drums was checkers
Louis Vuitton with the Gucci guitar
    Louis Vuitton is a design company specializing in fashion baggage.  Gucci isalso a fashion designer.  Does Gucci make guitars? Maybe they came in a Louis Vuitton guitar case? I don't know. One site visitor has siggested that "Gucci" was simply a street slang term for anything that was very nice or expensive.
Johnny Ryall
*Who do you think you are?*
    sample: "Mr. Big Stuff" - Jean Knight (1971).
Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall
Checkin' the night train
    "Night Train" - James Brown (1961).  Several site visitors have hipped me to the fact that Night Train is also a brand of cheap wine, which given the context of the lines surrounding it, makes perfect sense.
Checkin' the O.E.
    "Olde English" malt liquor.
Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall

Donald Trump Donald Tramp living in the Men's Shelter
    Donald Trump, the infamous New York real estate tycoon.
Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing Helter Skelter
    It is a common pracitce among the homeless to wrap their feet in plastic bags to keep the moisture out.
    "Helter Skelter" - The Beatles (1968).  The Charles Manson Family scrawled "Healter Skealter" in blood at the Sharon Tate house, forever linking the song to insanity/mental instability.
    Wonder Bread is a brand of white bread owned by the Continental Baking Company, which is owned by Interstate Brands Coproration.
He asks for a dollar you know what it's for
Bottle after bottle he'll always need more
He's no less important than you working class stiffs
Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss
Paid his dues playing the blues
He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes
    "Blue Suede Shoes" - Carl Perkins (1954). (Sorry, Johhny)
Elvis shaved his head when he went into the army
    Elvis Presley was inducted into the Army and served from 1958-1960.
*That's right y'all his name is*
    sample: "AJ Scratch" - Kurtis Blow (1984).
Johnny
Kick it!
Johnny Ryall
Check the cool wax!

Egg Man
    According to Mike Simpson, one half of the Dust Brothers: "We became obsessed with throwing eggs at people.  The Beasties were staying at the Mondrian hotel, on the ninth floor.  Summer was starting and everyday all these people would line up in front of the Comedy Store across the street.  It was just open season.  Eventually, they got a very diplomatic letter from the hotel management, like 'We've had some reports of things falling out of your window.  If there's a problem with your window, please let us know.'  Then we started driving around in limos, throwing eggs at people.  That's how we came up with the song 'Egg Man'."
                                                                        (source: Spin Magazine)

Known samples:
    Primary beat sample: "Sport" - Ligtnin' Rod (1973).
    Bass line sample: "Superfly" - Curtis Mayfield (1972).
    Music sample at "I'm on the move": "Dance to the Music" - Sly and the Family Stone (1968).

I looked out the window and seen his bald head
I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
Launched that shot and he was caught out there
Saw the convertible driving by
Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly
He went for his to find he didn't have one
Put him in check correct with my egg gun
The egg a symbol of life
Go inside your house and bust out your wife
Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke
The trigger I pulled his face the yoke
Reached in his pocket took all his cash
Left my man standing with an egg moustache
Suckers they come a dime a dozen
And when I say dozen you know what I'm talking about

Yea that's right
I'm the Egg Man
Driving around
King of the town
Yea
Always got my windows rolled down
Ready to throw
You know I'm the Egg Man
(Once upon a time)
Egg Man.

Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg
    From the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty was portrayed as an egg.
He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg
Tossed it out the window three minutes hot
Hit the Rastaman he said *bloodclot*
Which came first the chicken or the egg?
I egged the chicken then I ate his leg
Riding the trains in between cars
When I pull out the station *you're gonna get yours*
    sample: "You're Gonna Get Yours" - Public Enemy (1987).
Drive by eggings plaguing L.A.
*Yo they just got my little cousin ese*
Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny (ray!)
    Raymond White, aka Runny Ray, of Run DMC's crew; also a central character in the RUN-DMC film Tougher Than Leather.
It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy
    Cadbury Easter Egg commercials always portrayed a clucking rabbit laying their candy eggs.
People laugh it's no joke
My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yolk
*Now they got me in a cell* but I don't care
    sample: "Bring the Noise" - Public Enemy (1988)
It was then that I caught catching people out there

Up on the roof, In my car
Up all night
I'm going through science like Dolemite
    Dolemite a film by D'Urville Martin (1975).
The Mack, Who
I'm the Egg Man, taxi driver
I'm the Egg Man
Egg Man Egg Man

We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze's back
    Eric Haze is a famous New York grafitti artist.  He also did the lettering for Check Your Head LP cover.
    These two lines are almost directly ripped from the Beastie Boys song, "Egg Raid on Mojo".
    Original lyrics:
        "We all dressed in black, we snuck up around the back
          We began to attack, the eggs did crack on Mojo's back"
Sam I am down with the program
Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam
    "Sam I am" and "green eggs and ham" from Green Egss and Ham by Dr. Seuss.
    Yosemite Sam is one of Bugs Bunny's many antagonists from the Looney Toons cartoons.
Come Halloween you know I come strapped
    Egging is a popular tradition on October 31st.
I throw it at a sucker K-pap
You made the mistake you judge a man by his race
You go through life with egg on your face
You woke up in the morning with a peculiar feeling
You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
Families, punk rocks, the businessman
I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand
Not like the crack that you put in a pipe
But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe
    There's a whole mess of samples right here at the end, listen closely :)
        the "weent! weeent!" music sample:  comes from famous shower scene in the film Psycho; score composed by Bernard Herrmann
        the clanging bells and harmonica accompaniment is from the opening scene of the film Jaws (1975) directed by Steven Spielberg.
        Violin samples at end: "Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds" - The Beatles (1967).

High Plains Drifter
Known samples:
    Bass line sample: "Those Shoes" - The Eagles (1979)
    Moaning sample: "Put Your Love (In My Tender Care)" - Fatback Band (1975).

'Cause I'm a high plains drifter
And I'm the drifter
The high plains drifter
And I'm the drifter
They can't catch me never gonna find me
They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter
    High Plains Drifter, a 1973 film starring Clint Eastwood.
Pulled over to the river to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track
    Book title Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson (1971)
Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack
    Kool is a brand of menthol cigarettes.
Long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were
Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display
    "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide" - ZZ Top (1979).
    Original lyrics:
        "With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed
         Nobody give me trouble cause they know I got it made. '
Check the odometer and I was on my way
Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed
    Travis Bickle was the character portrayed by Robert De Niro in the 1976 film Taxi Driver, directed by Martin Scorcese.
Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed
Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
    The Motel 6 chain of economy motels.
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks
(and then I) Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
    A black and tan is a popular English brew, a mixture of a dark Irish stout and  a pale ale.
I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter
    K-Mart is a chain of discount department stores.
Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job
I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob
Left the car outside with the engine still revvin'
Time to get busy at 7-Eleven
    7-Eleven is a chain of convenience stores.
Went inside to make my withdrawal
I saw all that he had, but I had to take it all
Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice
    The Beastie Boys recognize the high frequency of Indian/Pakistani/Arabian folk working in convenience stores.
'Cos I'm mellow like Jell-O, cool like lemonade
    Jell-O is arguably the most popular dessert gelatin known to mankind.
Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made
I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star
Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car
    Probably the 1972 Steve McQueen film The Getaway.
Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
    Ballantine is a brand of beer.  Under the cap are little picture puzzles that spell out phrases.  The back of the Check Your Head tour t-shirt had a similar puzzle that had picutres of: a group of bees + a cup of tea + three boys.
I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry
    Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry was  film starring Peter Fonda in 1974.
    Dirty Harry was a film starring Clint Eastwood in 1971.
Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry
I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right
Cop knocked on my window and said "Boy where's the fire?
You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire
*Outta the car longhair* your goose is cooked"
    sample: "Your Mama Don't Dance" - Loggins and Messina (1972)
Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked
Makin' like a D.T. driving a Grand Fury
    "D.T." is street slang for police officer, presumably derived from "detective".
    The other reference in this line, the awesome Plymouth Grand Fury automobile, the car of choice for many police departments in the 1970's.
Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry
Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury
I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm never in a hurry
Read me my rights as if I didn't know this
Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis
With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer
    "Otis" is the name of the town drunk in the television series The Andy Griffith Show.
My man turned to me and said "Why are you here?"
I said, "I'm charming and dashing, I'm rental car bashing
Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing"
    A small chain of check cashing locations in Long Beach, CA
Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D.
He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key
Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee
    Harry Houdini is considered to be the greatest escape artist of all time.
Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.
I had a good feeling easy come easy go
    OTB is an acronym for "off track betting".  Horse race wagering without having to go to the track.
I bet on one horse to win and your mother to show
    In horse racing, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place is called win, place, and show, respectively.
And sure enough that nag came in
    "Up on Cripple Creek" - The Band (1969).
    Original lyrics:
        "She bet on one horse to win and I bet on another to show
          The odds were in my favor, I had 'em five to one
          And when that nag to win came around the track
          Sure enough she had won."
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win
And then I, broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger
Hot wired hot wheeled and *Suzy is a headbanger*
    sample: "Suzy is a Headbanger" - The Ramones (1977)

Sounds of Science
Known samples:
    Bass lines in first half of song: "Walk From Regio's" - Isaac Hayes (1971).
    Jet flying overhead: "Back in the U.S.S.R." - The Beatles (1968).
    Oboe track at beginning: "When I'm Sixty-Four" - The Beatles (1967).
    Guitar sample in second half: "The End" - The Beatles (1969).
    Drum track in second half: "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)" - The Beatles (1967).

Now here we go dropping science dropping it all over
Like bumping around the town like when you're driving a Range Rover
    The original SUV.
Expanding the horizons and expanding the parameters
Expanding the rhymes of sucker M.C. amateurs
    "Sucker MC's" - Run DMC. First apeard as the B-side to their "It's Like That" single in 1983 and later appeared on their first, self-titled LP in 1984.
Naugels, Isaac Newton, Scientific E.Z.
    Sir Isaac Newton should not need any introduction, since he formulated the theories of gravity and motion.
    Unfortunately mispelled in the liner notes, "naguals" were spiritual/scientific leaders of an ancient Mexican culture known as the Toltecs, researched most prominently by Carlos Castenada.
    Someone named "E.Z. Mike" is featured at the end of the "Shake your Rump" video.
Ben Franklin with the kite getting over with the key
    Legend has it that while contemplating the power of electricity in lightning that Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a thunderstorm that had a metal skeleton key threaded onto the kite string.
Rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables
Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables
I've been dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge
An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college
The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I eat
I've got pegs through my hands and one through my feet
    Sounds like some sort of Jesus Christ allusion to me.
Shea Stadium the radium E M D squared
    Shea Stadium is the home of the New York Mets  in Queens,New York.
    Radium is a radioactive, metallic element with an atomic number of 88, which is around the time some of these songs were written, 1988-1989.
    EMD is one of the "big 5" that handles the distribution of record companies worldwide.  Nearly 90% of recorded music in the world is distributed by just these five companies. Capitol Records, the label for which this album was recorded, uses EMD for the their distribution.
    The "squared" makes a play on the Albert Einstein equation "e = mc2(to the second power, or squared).
Got kicked out of the Palladium you think that I cared
    It is rumored that the Beastie Boys were permanently banned from the Palladium Ampitheater in 1988 after a performance there.
It's the sound of science

*(crowd noise)*
   sample: "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" - The Beatles (1967).
Rope a dope
    Refers to Muhammad Ali's boxing strategy which he called "rope a dope".
The newest in new
*right up to your face and dis you!*
    sample: "My Philosophy" - Boogie Down Productions (1988).
Waxin' and milkin' all ya'll square heads

Time and money for girls covered with honey
    Two different site visitors have suggested that this line references the Licensed To Ill tour when the Beastie Boys reportedly would invite young girls on stage (or backstage) and pour honey on their bodies. this allegedly resulted in lawsuits from the girls' parents. I have yet to find any corroborating evidence of this, however, I thought the two seperate mentions of this (while it could well be rumor, still) warranted a mention.
You lie and aspire to be as cunning
Reeling and rockin' and rollin' B size D cup
Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up
    The Quarter Deluxe was a limited time burger at McDonald's.
My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector
Had to get up to get the Jimmy protector
Went berserk and worked and exploded
She woke up in the morning and her face was coated
Buddy you study the man on the mic
D. do what you like
Drunk a skunk am I from the celebration
To peep that freak unique penetration
I figured out who makes the crack
It's the suckers with the badges and the blue jackets
A professor of science cause I keep droppin' it
I smell weak cause you keep poppin' it
People always asking what's the phenomenon
Yo what's up know what's going on
No one really knows what I'm talking about
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch
    scratch sample: "Get Up, Get Into It, Get Involved" by James Brown (1970).

Ponce De Leon constantly on
The fountain of youth not Robotron
    Ponce De Leon was a Spanish Explorer who discovered Florida while searching for the fountain of youth.
    Robotron: 2084 was a popular arcade video game released in 1982.
Peace is a word I've heard before
So move and move and move upon the dance floor
I'm gonna die gonna die one day
Cause I'm goin and goin and goin this way
Not like a roach or a piece of toast
I'm going out first class not going out coach
Rock my Adidas never rock Fila
    Adidas and Fila are sneaker companies.
    "My Addidas" - Run DMC (1986).
*I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla*
    sample: "Don't Sniff Coke" - Pato Banton (1987).
With my nose I knows and with my scopes I scope
What I live I write and that is strictly rope
I've got science for any occasion
Postulating theorems formulating equations
Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard
    Cheech Wizard comic strip by Vaughn Bode.
Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy
Dropping science like Galileo dropped a orange
    Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) the Renaissance mathemetician, inventor, and  astronomer who supposedly dropped items off of the Tower of Pisa to demonstrate the effects of gravity on things of varying weights (there is none).

3-Minute Rule
Known samples:
    Beginning/ending beats: "The Brave and the Strong" - Sly and the Family Stone (1971).
    Primary beat sample: "Take the Money and Run" - Steve Miller Band (1976).

Stay up all night go to sleep watching Dragnet
    Dragnet, the classic police drama television series starring Jack Webb during the 1960's.
Never sleep alone because Jimmy's the magnet
I'm so rope they call me Mr. Roper
    Mr. Roper was the original landlord on the 1970's television program Three's Company played by Don Fell.
When the troubles arise I'm the cool coper
On the mic I score just like the Yankees
    The New York Yankees professional baseball team.
Get over on Ms. Crabtree like my main man Spanky
    From the Our Gang and Little Rascals film shorts.  Mrs. Crabtree was an elementary teacher at the school that Spanky and the gang attended.
Excuse me young lady I don't mean to trouble ya
But you're looking mighty fine inside your B.M.W.
    A German. luxury automobile.
I got lucky I brought home a kitten
Before I got busy I schlepped on my mitten
Can't get better odds cause I'm a sure thing
Proud Mary keeps on turning rolling like a Ring Ding
    "Proud Mary" - Creedence Clearwater Revival (1968).
    Ring Ding is a type of snack cake made by Drake's Cakes.
Jump the turnstile never pay the tool
Doo wa diddy bust with the pre-roll
    "Doo Wah Diddy" (Greenwich/Barry) was released by two groups in 1964, the relatively unknown Exciter's girl-group version followed by  the one-everyone-has-heard by Manfred Mann.
    Original lyrics are:
        "There she was just a-walkin' down the street
          Singin' do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do"
Customs jail me over an herb seed
Don't rat on your boy over some rat weed
I'm out of your backdoor and into another
Your boyfriend doesn't know about me and your mother
Not perfect grammar always perfect timing
The Mike stands for money and the D. is for diamonds

Roses are red the sky is blue
I got my barrel at your neck so what the fuck you gonna do
It's just two wheels and me the wind in my eyes
The engine is the music and my nine's by my side
Cause you know Y-A-U-C-H
I'm takin' all M.C.'s out of the place
Takin' life as it comes no fool am I
I'm goin' off gettin' paid and I don't ask why
Playin' beats on my box makin' music for the many
Know alota def girls who like to do their thing
A lot of parents like to think I'm a villain
I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan
    Bob Dylan was the "voice" of his generation in the 1960's.
I smoke cheeba it helps me with my brain
I might be a little dusted but I'm not insane
People come up to me and they try to talk shit man
I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's limp dick

Girl you're walking tall now with your fancy clothes
You got fancy things going up your nose
You get fancy gifts from expensive men
You're a dog on a leash like a pig in a pen
Mothership connection getting girl's affection
    Parliament album Mothership Connection (1976).
If your life needs correction don't follow my direction
You got your 8 by 10 your agent your Harley
    Harley-Davidson, American motorcycle manufacturer.
You be driving around Hollywood, yo, sorry charlie
    The Sunkist tuna company had a popular television commercial with the catch phrase "Sorry, Charlie".
Cause I'm running things like some Mack motherfucker
Your only claim to fame is you're a false fake sucker
You slip you slack you clock me you lack
While I'm reading On the Road by my man Jack Kerouac
    Jack Kerouac (1922-1969) wrote On the Road which was published in 1957.
Poetry in motion coconut lotion
I had to diss the girl because she got too emotional
Are you experienced, little girl?
    "Are you Experienced?" - Jimi Hendrix (1967).
I want to know what goes on in your little girl world
Give time for your mind it's hard to forget me
I'll take your pride for a ride if you let me
So peace out now, and keep peacing out
Full throttle to the bottle and full full clout
And I'm out

Hey Ladies
Known music samples:
    "Machine Gun" - The Commodores (1974).
    "Jungle Boogie" - Kool and the Gang (1973).
    "Shake your Pants" - Cameo (1980).
    "Pumpin' It Up" - P-Funk All Stars (1983).

Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There's more to me than you'll ever know
And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
    Sadaharu Oh has the distinction of being -the- all-time home run hitter in American or Japanese professional baseball, topping even Hank Aaron.
Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or tom-foolery
    Tom Thumb was a tiny boy only a few inches tall in an old child's tale.
    Tom Cushman is a long-time friend of the Beastie Boys, having done some of the one-off side-projects with some of them, including Brooklyn and the Beat Brothers.
Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
    Chuck Woolery hosted a syndicated dating television program called The Love Connection.
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
    The largest canyon on earth, located in Arizona, USA.
And I'm always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing
I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling
Your body's on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling
Some such nonsense is the bass that I'm throwing
Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing
She's talking to the kid to the who
I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did
*Hey ladies*
    sample: "Party Time" - Kurtis Blow (1983).
* a.. get funky*
    sample: "Hey DJ" - World's Famous Supreme Team (1984).
*all the ladies in the house, the ladies, the ladies*
    sample: "Jazzy Sensation" - Afrika Bambaataa (1982).
 

Me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers and it was *welcome back Kotter*
    I'm not sure where the sample comes from, but Welcome Back Kotter was a television show in the 1970's starring Gabe Kaplan and John Travolta.
We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment I begged her please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain't nothing but a crab
Educated no stupid yes
And when I say stupid I mean stupid *fresh*
    scratched sample: "Change le Beat" - B-side and Fab 5 Freddy (1982).
I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge
    James at 15 was a sitcom in the late 1970's.
    Scott Baio, who played Chachi on the television series Happy Days later starred in a short-lived sitcom called Charles in Charge.
I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville
    The only model of Cadillac that matters.
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
You be listening to my records a number one sound
Step to the rhythm step step to the ride
I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside
Tune in turn on to my tune that's live
    The phrase "turn on, tune in, drop out", which became a rally-cry for the 1960's counter-culture was coined by Dr. Timothy Leary.
Girls flock like bee's to a hive
*Hey ladies*
*a.. get..*
*funky*
    The first two samples come from the sources mentioned after the first verse but the "funky" here has a different source. "Funky President" - James Brown (1965).
Hey, hey, hey, hey... hey ladies
*girls girls*
Hey, hey, hey, hey... hey ladies
*one more time*
*ain't it funky now*
    sample: "Ain't it Funky Now" - James Brown (1969).
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
*ain't it funky now*
    sample: "Ain't It Funky Now" - James Brown (1969).

Now you know that...
She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore
She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh call and mail that ear
    Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890). There is a popular legend that van Gogh cut off  his ear and mailed it to the object of his unrequited love.  While somewhat true, not entirely.  He did remove a portion of his earlobe and did present it to someone, but not through the mail.  Do your own research on this one. :)
I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking
She said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak, man
    From the theme for the Hanna-Barberra cartoon Magilla Gorilla.
     Original lyrics are:
         "Take our advice at any price
         A gorilla like Magilla is mighty nice."
Sucking down pints till I didn't know
Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho
Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and
*She thinks she's the passionate one*
    sample: "Ballroom Blitz" - Sweet (1974).

*Hey ladies*
*a.. get funky*
    these two samples same as after first verse
*Good god*
*Good god*
    sample: "War" - Edwin Starr (1970).
*damn*
    sample: "Funky President" - James Brown (1965).
*Good god*
    same as above
*Baby baby baby baby*
    sample: "Hush" - Deep Purple (1968).
*Is it funky brother?*
    sample: "Funky President" - James Brown (1965).
*Hee haa haa haa...*
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey, hey ladies

5-Piece Meal
Entire music comes from "Shuckin' the Corn" by Eric Weissberg which  appeared on the soundtrack to the 1974 film Deliverance.

Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun
Known samples:
    Primary beat sample: "Last Bongo in Belgium" - Incredible Bongo Band (1973).
    Piano chord sample: "Time" - Pink Floyd (1973).
    Additional samples: "Put Your Hand in the Hand" - Ocean (1971).

Rolling down the hill snowballing getting bigger
An explosion in the chamber the hammer from the trigger
I seen him get stabbed I watched the blood spill out
He had more cuts than my man Chuck Chillout
    Influential old-school DJ who put out party records in the 1980's and has mixing credits on Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back.
24 is my age .22 is my gauge
Writing rhymes on a page going off in a rage
Out on a mission a stolen car mission
Had a small problem with the transmission
3 on the tree in the middle of the night
I have this steak on my head cause I got into a fist fight
Life comes in phases take the good with the bad
You bought those coins on the street and you got had
It's all high spirit you know you gotta hear it
Don't touch the mic baby don't come near it
It's gonna get you it's gonna get you
It's gonna get you girl it's gonna get you

Looking down the barrel of a gun
Son of a gun son of a bitch
Getting paid getting rich
    sample: drums and bit of guitar distortion here from "Mississippi Queen" - Mountain (1979).
Ultra violence running through my head
    An allusion to Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange film (1971), a more obvious reference follows.
Fuzzy navel y'all making me see red
    Fuzzy Navel is a mixed drink comprised of peach schnapps and orange juice.
Rapid fire louie like Rambo got bullets
    John Rambo became the quintessential action hero, popularized by Sylvester Stallone, starting with the film First Blood in 1982.
I'm a gonna die harder like my kid Bruce Willis
    Bruce Willis franchise of action movies began in 1988 with Die Hard.
I love girlies waxing and milking
Co-ordinating trim is my man Dave Scilken
    Childhood friend of Adam Horovitz who died of a drug overdose in 1991 (two years after thisrecording). Scilken was also in The Young and the Useless with Horovitz prior to the Beastie Boys.  On the Licensed to Ill and Together Forever tours, Scilken earned the title of "trim co-ordinator".  His primary duties in this role was to procure females from the crowd and present them with backstage passes.
Predetermined destiny is who I am
You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam I am
    David Berkowitz was a NYC area serial killer in the late 1970's. He terrorized the city for 13 months before his capture, killing six people. The first nickname he acquired during his spree was given to him because of his weapon of choice, the ".44 caliber killer". Later, in letters to the police left at the scenes of his crimes, Berkowitz referred to himself as the "Son of Sam."This line of the song also seems to make brief reference to the story Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss which begins "I am Sam/Sam I am".
Like Clockwork Orange going off on the town
    Here's the other more obvious A Clockwork Orange reference.
I've got homeboy's bonanza to beat your ass down
I'm mad at my desk and I'm writing all curse words
Expressing my aggressions through my schizophrenic verse words
You're a headless chicken chasin' a sucker free basin
Looking for a fist to put your face in
Get hip, get hip -  don't slip ya knuckle heads
Racism is schism on the serious tip

Car Thief
Known samples:
    Primary sample: "Rien Ne Va Plus" - Funk Factory (1976).
    Additional samples:   "I Bet You" - Funkadelic (1970).

Some static started in the pool hall
In a motherfucker's face with the cue ball
Then I met this girl she tried to gank me
So I smacked her in the booty with a Plank Bee
Me and my crew out breaking windows
The bingo the lotto you know I'll never win those
Possession is half the law
I had my routines before all y'all
Your whole life is coming apart at the seams
You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines
See, I'm a city slicker I ain't no townie
Right now I wish I had another hash brownie
Like Ricky always said you've got to toke and pass
    Probably Ricky Powell, see later reference.
Or Mookie's gonna kick your mother fuckin' ass
    Mookie was head of security on the Licensed to Ill tour.
You try to take what isn't yours like a God damn rat
*See personally I wouldn't want to go out like that*
I'm a writer a poet a genius I know it
I don't buy cheeba I grow it
*I'm a farmer*
    Spoken by Max Yasgur on the Woodstock recording released in 1970.
People always trying to get next to me
I had a beautiful experience on Ecstasy
I smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer
Because I had to deal with a money hungry miser
Had a 'caine filled Kool with my man Russ Rush
    Kool is a popular brand of menthol cigarettes.
    The "money hungry miser" and "Russ Rush" most likely referese to Russell "Rush" Simmons, owner of Def Jam Records and Rush Artist Management with whom the Beastie Boys had money squabbles that resulted in their leaving Def Jam after their first LP.
Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush
You be doing nose candy on the Bowie Coke Mirror
    Presumably David Bowie, the Legendary Stardust Cowboy.
My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her
You can't deny me you always want to try me
You're just gonna get your ass kicked
Homeboy throw in the towel
Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell
    Ricky Powell, longtime friend and film maker who has documented the Beastie Boys' career on film and assisted in the direction of many of their videos.
The Godfather of Soul is in the belly of the beast
    The godfather of soul is naturally James Brown, who was incarcerated ("the belly of the beast") during this period of time.
For smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast
    Here's a Catholic reference that I can identify but I don't know what relevance it has.  St. Anthony is the Holy Matchmaker.  Young girls made a pilgrimage to St. Anthony's shrine during the feast and pray to God for a good boy. Meanwhile, good Catholic boys were encouraged to make the same pilgrimage and wait outside the shrine, and ask ladies exiting to dance. It is also asummer festival in NYC.

All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters
Sitting in the White House pulling their peters
Buy me cheeba from the cop down the street
The only cop with a rope chain walking the beat
Like a sneaky pouch time bomb tickin'
Like the beat to my rhyme just kickin'
Space cake cookies I discover who I am
I'm a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man
    A hurdy gurdy man is a type of street performer who plays a music box while a monkey on a leash dances and performs tricks.
    "Hurdy Gurdy Man" - Donovan (1968).
    Donovan (aka Donovan Leitch) happens to be the father  of actress Ione Skye Leitch.  At the time of this recording, Adam Horovitz was dating Ione, whom he would later marry and then subsequently divorce.
    sample: The drum sample which immediate follows this line comes straight from the recording by Donovan.
Five-O caught me now I'm going to the mountains
    While the reference isn't peculiar to Beastie Boys lyrics, it does have a pop culture reference.  This term, street-slang for "the police" references the 1970's television police drama Hawaii Five-O.
Said good-bye to my girl my lawyers and accountants
My mind is kinda rhymin and I think I oughta think
So I'm rockin all the rhymes and I'll have another drink
So the lights are flashing my mind is spinning
I feel like it is always the beginning
Of another rhyme I'm rapping M.C.'ing I rock
You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped

What Comes Around
Known samples:
    Guitar sample from "It's Hot Tonight" - Alice Cooper (1977).
    Opening drum beat: "Moby Dick" - Led Zeppelin (1969).
    Primary sample: "Put On Train" - Gene Harris (1962).

Soft overripe fresh skeezed California females
With 3-inch cherry red press-on Lee nails
    "Lee" press-on finger nails are arguably the most famous of these beauty products.
Reach into my mind for the rhymes I'm seeking
Like a garbage bag full overflowing now it's leaking
Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair
    Rapunzel of medieval myth, supposedly let her incredibly long hair down so that her rescuer could climb the tower where she was imprisoned.
So I can climb up and get into your underwear
Rat soup eating test cheating no business punk
You're insecure born in the junkyard with the junk
    Paraphrased line from the film Dolemite by D'Urville Martin (1975).  Actual quote is "you insecure born junkyard motherfucker".
You've gone wet look crazy and messed with your head
You fucked around and wound up with the bald skin head
You're all mixed up like pasta primavera
Why'd you throw that chair at Geraldo Rivera
    On a taping of his daytime talk-show "Geraldo", Rivera's nose was broken when a chair was thrown at him by an angered neo-Nazi skinhead.
Cause one man's ceiling is another man's floor
    "One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" - Paul Simon (1973).
So get that money out of your ass you whore
I brought her upstairs onto the roof
I dogged your wife and she is a doofus
Clean B cleaning the G spot you know that we've got
    I'm not sure about the Clean B (I would presume a cleaning service) but the "G spot" I know ALL about! ;-)
    The G Spot is a mythical place inside a woman where sexual gratification can be heightened. After the move to California, the Beastie Boys nick-named their new space "the G Spot", named for the elderly couple they rented it from, the Grasshoffs.
Dolemite's house and you have not
    Dolemite a film by D'Urville Martin (1975).
Look out my window look over the city
With two black eyes your girl ain't that pretty
Why you wanna beat that brat with a bat
    "Beat on the Brat" - The Ramones (1976).
    Original lyrics:
        "Beat on the brat
         Beat on the brat
         Beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah, oh yeah oh oh"
Why you wanna beat your girl like that
Living in the rat race smoking rat weed
You reap what you sow when you plant the seed
    While not an actual Bible quote "You reap what you sow" is often attributed to the Bible because this analogy is used often through its pages.  For a few nice examples, try: Leviticus 25:11, Job 4:8, Psalms 126:5.
Bum cheese on rye with ham and prosciutto
Got more Louie than Phil Rizzuto
    Phil Rizzuto played professionally for the New York Yankees from 1941-1956 and later served as a New York Yankees color commentator. In the late 1980's he did national TV commercials for a lending agency called "The Money Store", whic is probably what this line refers to, "louie" being slang for money.

Shadrach
    At least one person has used "Shadrach" as a serious topic in academia, writing a paperabout post-modern texts.  Props go to David Sklar for a fine paper, I hope yougot an A.  You can read the paper yourself, here. Some of the rarerreferences I obtained from his paper, however, I did not agree with everything he suggested.

Known samples:
    Opening drums and clapping: "Do Your Dance" - Rose Royce.
    Additional samples: "Loose Booty" - Sly and the Family Stone (1974).
                                    "Hot and Nasty" - Black Oak Arkansas (1971).
                                    "Sugarhill Groove" -  The Sugarhill Gang.
                                    "Funky Drummer" - James Brown.

Riddle me this brother can you handle it?
Your style to my style you can't hold a candle to it
Equinox symmetry and the balance is right
Smokin' and drinkin' on a Tuesday night
It's not how you play the game it's how you win it
I cheat and steal and sin and I'm a cynic
For those about to rock we salute you
    "For Those About to Rock We Salute You" - AC/DC (1981).
    David Sklar suggests that this is from the ancient Roman equivlanet of "gentleman start your engines" that began events in the Coliseum.  Before the beginning of these brutal games "for those about to die we salute you" was uttered.  I think it is more likely that they just got it off the AC/DC album/song, especially since the following line echoes another AC/DC song ("Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap").
The dirty thoughts for dirty minds we contribute to
I once was lost but now I'm found
    "Amazing Grace" - John Newton (1779)
    Original lyric:
        "Amazing grace how sweet the sound
          That saved a wretch like me
          I once was lost but now I'm found
         Was blind but now I see"
The music washes over and you're one with the sound
Who shall inherit the earth the meek shall
    "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." King James Version Bible, Matthew 5:5.
I think I'm starting to peak now Al
    In the liner notes of Paul's Boutique the printed lyrics state "I think I'm starting to peak now Al from S.S. Decontrol".  Alan Barile was guiatrist for an early '80's Boston-based hard-core band called S.S. Decontrol.
And the man upstairs I hope that he cares
If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be a millionaire
    A mixture of two popular cliches.  "Penny for your thoughts" and "If I had a penny for every time (whatever) I'd be a millionaire".
We're just 3 M.C.'s and we're on the go
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
    Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego appear in the 3rd chapter of "Daniel" in the Bible.  Refusing to worship a golden idol, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are thrown into a furnace by the king of Babylon, where they are unharmed for their unwavering faith in their god.  As a result, the king declares the entire kingdom worship the Jewish god.

Only 24 hours in a day
Only 12 notes a man can play
    The traditional music scale is comprised of 8 notes.  David Sklar thinks they are making reference to Arnold Schoenberg's 12 note atonal scale. However, site visitor Gregory Luan has this to say: "When they say that there are twelve notes a man can play, they are most likely referring to the usual chromatic twelve note scale.  The atonal scale is rarely used and I don't think the Beastie Boys would have enough interest in it to refer to it, especially during Paul's Boutique.  Instead, I think it is more likely that they are referring to the total number of notes in the Western system.  Namely: A A# B C D D# E F F# G G#  A including the octave.  Schoenberg's system incorporates the same 12 tones but in an atonal manner."

Music for all and not just one people
And now we're gonna bust with the Putney Swope sequel
    Putney Swope a film by Robert Downey, Sr. (1969).
More Adidas sneakers that a plumber got pliers
Got more suits that Jacoby & Meyers
    Jacoby & Meyers is a an entertainment law firm, making an interesting double meaning forthe word "suits".
If not for my vices and my bugged out desires
My year would be good just like Goodyear's tires
    Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company.
So I'm out pickin' pockets at the Atlantic Antic
    The Atlantic Antic is an annual street fair held in Brooklyn.
And nobody wants to hear you cause your rhymes are so frantic
I mix business with pleasure way too much
I mean wine and women and song and such
I don't get blue I gotta mean red streak
You don't pay the band your friends and that's weak
Get even like Steven like pulling a Rambo
    "Now we are even, quoth Steven" from "Letters to Stella" by Jonathan Swift (1711).
    John Rambo became the quintessential action hero, popularized by SylvesterStallone, starting with the film First Blood in 1982.
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego

Steal from the rich and I'm out robbing banks
Give to the poor and I always give thanks
    Allusion to mythical figure Robin Hood, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor.
Got more stories that J.D. got Salinger
    J.D. Salinger, American author, most notably, wrote Catcher in the Rye.  He also had a collection of short stories titled Nine Stories.
I hold the title and you are the challenger
I've got money like Charles Dickens
    English author Charles Dickens.  David Skarls points out that this "alludes to Dickens' lengthy writing style, a consequence of his contracts with magazines for which he wrote serialized stories - he was paid by the word. "
Got the girlies in the Coupe like the Colonel's got the chickens
    The Cadillac Coupe de Ville.
    Colonel Sander's Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain.
    The word Coupe is played on the other meaning, as in chicken coop.
Always go out dapper like Harry S. Truman
    Harry S. Truman served as the 33rd president of the United States from 1945-1953.
I'm madder than Mad's Alfred E. Newman
    Humor magazine, Mad.  They're mascot is Alfred E. Neuman, the red-haired, freckle-faced, "What, me worry?" kid.
*Never gonna let 'em say that I don't love you*
    sample: "Never Let 'Em Say" - Ballin' Jack (1970).
My noggin is hoggin all kinds of thoughts
Adam Yoggin is Yauch and he's rockin of course
Smoke the holy chalice got my own religion
Rally round the stage and check the funky dope musicians
Jerry Lee Swaggert or Jerry Lee Falwell
    Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Falwell are both television evangelists.  The "Jerry Lee" treatment of their names is probably referencing rock and roll icon Jerry Lee Lewis.  Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Lee Lewis are cousins.
You love Mario Andretti cause he always drives his car well
    Famous Indy race car driver
Vicious circle of reality since the day you were born
And we love the hot butter on *say what?!* the popcorn
    sample: "Good to Go" - Trouble Funk.
Sippin on wine and mackin
Rockin on the stage with all the hands clappin
Ride the wave of fate it don't ride me
*Being very proud to be an M.C.*
    sample: "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 (1980).
And the man upstairs I hope that he cares
If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be a millionaire
Amps and crossovers under my rear hood
The bass is bumpin from the back of my Fleetwood
They tell us what to do? Hell no!
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego

beat sample at end just before segue into "Ask For Janice":  "Lyrics of Fury" - Eric B and Rakim (1988).

Ask For Janice
    According to the Paul's Boutique Samples and References page: "The streetcorner in the picture [on the album cover] is Ludlow and Rivington and it's inManhattan, not Brooklyn. The Paul's Boutique sign is just hanging off of Lee's Sportswear."
  *...the best in men's clothing. Call Paul's Boutique and ask for Janice and the number is (718) 498-1043. That's Paul;s Boutiue and they're in Brooklyn.*

B-boy Bouillabaisse

a. 59 Chrystie St.
    According to Mike D: "The money [from the British Airways suit] enabled us to make the
move for independence.  We got a floor in this Chinese sweatshop building on Chrystie Street."
                                                                            [source: Spin magazine]

Known samples:
    Drum beat: "The Jungle Line" - Joni Mitchell (1975).
    Additional samples: "Are you Experienced?" - Jimi Hendrix (1967).
                                    "Rocket in the Pocket" - Cerrone.

There's a girl over there
*Aww yeah, aww aww aww aww, aww yeah*
    scratched sample: "Here We Go" - Run-DMC.
With long brown hair
*Aww aww yeah, aww aww aww aww, aww yeah*
I took her to the place
I threw the mattress in her face
Took off her shirt
*fr-fr-fr-fresh*
    scratched sample: "Change le Beat" - B-side and Fab 5 Freddy (1982).
Took off her bra
*you know it*
    sample: "Buffalo Gals" - Malcolm McLaren and World's Famous Supreme Team.
Took off her pants
*fr-fr-fr-fresh*
You know that I saw
*wa-wi-wi-wack*
    sample: "My Philosophy" - Boogie Down Productions (1988).
b. Get On the Mic
Known samples:
        "At the Fever" - Lovebug Starski.

1,2...
Right now I'd like to dedicate this song out to my main homie, Mike D
Everybody ready? Go!
Get on the mic, just get on the mic
Get on the mic, get on the mic Mike
Let's be real and don't cloud the issue
The rhymes are rope an M.C. you must listen to
People say that they been missin' me and missin' you
Get on the mic and let's show them like we used to
You say fuck that I say fuck this
The king Ad-Whammy has never been limp Dick Butkus
    Dick Butkus was a linebacker for the Chicago Bears football team from 1965-1973.
One half science and the other half soul
His name's Mike D. not Fat Morton Jelly Roll
    Jelly Roll Morton was a jazz pianist of the 1920's.
M.C. Busy Le Disco fooled around in Fresno
Got over on your girl cause you know she never says no
Well Mike D. is a special individual
Pulling out knots pulling in residuals
Go to the movies get the Rolos the cholos riding slow and low
    Rolos are a chocolate and caramel candy.
Mike on the mic and bust with the solo
Mike my stromy don't be so selfish
Get on the mic cause you know you eat shellfish

c. Stop That Train
Known samples:
        "Save the World" - All the People.

It's 4:00 a.m. I've got the Dr. Hfuhruhurr Ale
    A cheap ale sold in 40s and quarts, available in the NYC area, although I don't think this is the correct spelling.  Most likely play on the ale's name and the name of Steve Martin's character in the 1983 film The Man With Two Brains.
I've got nothing to lose so I'm pissin' on the third rail
    The third rail of the subway is what electrifies the car, so pissing on it would be, well, suicidal (nothing to lose).
Groggy eyed and fried I'm headed for the station
D-Train ride Coney Island vacation
    Coney Island is a famous New York amusement park in Brooklyn.
Dedicated to the boofers in the back of the 1 train
    Boofing is a slang term for the act of hiding drugs in ones rectum. Thanks to reader JB for the tip.
They'll be kicking out windows high on cocaine
Jump the turnstyle I lost my last token
Riding between the cars pissing smoking
Head for the last car fluorescent light blackout
Policeman told my homeboy put that crack out
You know you light up when the lights go down
Read the New York Post Fulton St. downtown
    The New York Post is a daily tabloid paper based in New York City.
Same faces every day but you don't know their names
Party people going placed on the D-Train

*Stop that train, I wanna get off*
    sample: "Draw Your Brakes" - Scotty.

French trench coat wing tip going to work
Pulling a train like Captain Kirk
    Character made famous by William Shatner on the television series Star Trek.
Pick pocket gangsters paying their debts
Caught a bullet in the lung from Bernie Goetz
    Controversial vigilante who shot 4 youths in 1984 in a New York train station.
Overworked and underpaid staring at the floor
Prostitutes spandex caught in the sliding doors
Stuck between the stations it seems like an eternity
Sweating like sardines in a flophouse fraternity
$50.00 fine for disturbing the peace
The neck tortoise the Lees creased
    Lee's is a brand of blue jeans.
Hot cup of coffee and the donuts are Dunkin
    Donut bakery chain Dunkin' Donuts.
Friday night and Jamaica Queens funkin
    Jamaica, Queens is a neighborhood in Queens, New York.
    "Funkin' For Jamacia" - Tom Browne.
Elevated platform never gonna conform
Riding over the diner where I always get my toast warm
Bust into the conductor's booth and busted out rhymes
Over the loud speaker about the hard times
    "Hard Times" - Run-DMC (1984).
Sat across from a man readin El Diario
    Common name for a lot of Spanish daily newspapers, so its exact reference is questionable, most likely a New York based paper when considered in context.
Riding the train down from El Barrio
Went from the station straight to Orange Julius
    Orange Julius is a chain of frozen orange juice stands owned by Dairy Queen.
Bought a hot dog from my man George Drakoulias
    George Drakoulias is a record producer who got his start at Def Jam in the 1980's.

d. Year and a Day
Known samples:
    "Ebony Jam" - Tower of Power.
    "Who's That Lady" - The Isley Brothers
    "When the Levee Breaks" - Led Zeppelin (1971).

M.C. for what I AM and do
the A is for Adam and the lyrics; true
so as pray and hope and the message is sent
and I AM living in the dreams that I have dreamt
because I'm down with the three the unstoppable three
me and Adam and D. were born to M.C.
and my body and soul and mind are pure
not polluted or diluted or damaged beyond cure
just lyrics from I to you recited
arrested, bailed but cuffed and indicted
enter the arena as I take center stage
the lights set low and the night has come of age
take the microphone in hand as that I am a professional
speak my knowledge to the crowd and the ed. is special
for I AM a bard but not the last one
I'm my own king and this is my castle
dwell in realms of now but vidi those of the past
seen a glimpse from ahead and I don't think it's gonna last
and you can bet your ass

I drop the L. when I'm skiing
I'm smoking and peaking
I put the skis on the roof almost every single weekend
can't stop the mindfuck when it's rolling along
can't stop the smooth runnin's when the shit's running strong
broke my bindings the lion with wings
preaching his word in the B. Boy sing
I AM one with myself as I turn to The
I prefer the dreams to reality
I prefer my life don't need no other man's wife
don't need no crazy lifestyle with stress and strife
but it's good to have turn to be a king for a day
or for a week or for a year or for a year in a day
come what may

I'm fishing with my boat and I'm fishing for trout
mix the Bass Ale with the Guiness Stout
    When you mix an ale with a stout, you get a black and tan.
fishing for a line inside my brain
and looking out at the world through my window pane
every day has many colors cuz the glass is stained
everything has changed but remains the same
so once again the mirror raised and I see myself as clear as day
and I AM going to the limits of my ultimate destiny
feeling as though Somebody were testing me
He who sees the end from the beginning of time
looking forward through all the ages is, was and always shall be
check the prophetic sections of the pages

He goes by the name of Disco Dave

e. Hello Brooklyn

New York New York it's a hell of a town
The Bronx is up and I'm Brooklyn down
    The Bronx and Brooklyn are two of the boros that make up New York City.  It's been brought to my attention by site visitor Mark that this also closely mirrors the lyrics from the song "New York, New York" in the 1944 musical On The Town: "New York, New York it's a hell of a town/The Bronx is up but the Battery is down".  The lyric "hell of a" was changed to "wonderful" for the 1949 film version, starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.
They don't know my name they only know my initials
Building bombs in the attic for elected officials
I quit my job I cut my hair
I cut my boss cause I don't care
You tried to get slick you bust a little chuckle
You're gonna get smacked with my gold finger knuckle
Cause being as fly as me is something you never thought of
You'll be sticking up old ladies with the hand gun or the sawed-off
Like a buffalo soldier I'm broader than Broadway
    "Buffalo Soldier" - Bob Marley (post-humously, 1983).
    "Broader Than Broadway" - Barrington Levy.
Keep keepin' on I don't care what they say
I play my stereo loud it disturbs my neighbors
I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor
I am the holder of the 3-pack Bonanza
If you open the book then you will get your hand slapped
I am the keeper of the 3-pack Bonanza
If you ask a question you will get the answer
Her breast I saw I reached I felt
M-O-N.E-Y the belt
I stay at home just like a hermit
I got the jammy but I don't got the permit
Yes you got a boyfriend and his name is Nick
Annabelle you're caught with the shrimpy limp dick
    Author Mary Jane Staples utilized the names Annabelle and Nick in her book Pride of Walworth however, the earliest publishing date I can find for this title is 1995, so it's not likely that this is the reference, however, it's the only one I can find.
I ride around town cause my ride is fly
I shot a man in Brooklyn *just to watch him die*
    sample: "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash (1968).

f. Dropping Names
Known samples:
    Piano and drums before "he thrusts": "Hey A-Pocky" - The Meters
    Music after "he thrusts": "The Well's Gone Dry" - The Crusaders
    Additional samples: "Into the Night" - Sweet.
                                    "Ebony Jam" - Tower of Power.

He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost
    The above line is used by a character in Stephen King's book It as a tongue twister for overcoming a stuttering problem. The entire tongue twister (sorry, search as I may I could not find an author for it certainly sounds like a poem) has slight variations depending on what you reference, but in general it goes something like this:
    "Amidst the mists and coldest frosts,
      With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
      He thrusts his fists against the posts,
      And still insists he sees the ghosts"
She's slippin through his fingers as she's movin' out to the coast

If your world was all black and if your world was all white
Then you wouldn't get much color out of life now right
Nicknamed Shamrock my name is not Shamus
    A shamrock is the common three-leaf clover.
    Shamus is a traditional Irish name.
    As far as pop culture is concerned, take your pick.  There's the film Shamus starring Burt Reynolds in 1973.  There's also the children's  fantasy film from 1959 titled Shamus.  Given the abundance of 1970's pop-culutre references, I would be inclined to lean toward the former.
Girlies on the tippy cause my homie is famous
My name is not O'Houigheighi nor is it Brian
If I said that I was weak you know I'd be lyin'
Suckers try to bite they try to pursue it
*If you explain to a musician he'll tell that he knows it but he just can't do it*
    sample: an interview with Bob Marley.

g. Lay It On Me
Known samples:
    Primary sample: "Let the Music Take Your Mind" - Kool and the Gang.

Chinese eyes and Chinese suits
Smokin' much Buddha and smokin' much boots
More updated on the hip-hop lingo
My favorite New York Knick was Hawthorne Wingo
    Wingo played for the New York Knickerbockers and later the Harlem Wizards.
Met a girl at a party and I gave her my card
You know that it said Napoleon Bonaparte
    Napaleon Bonaparte rose to the status of Emperor of France in 1799.
Peepin' out the colors I be buggin' on Cezanne
    Paul Cezanne (1839-1906) was a post-impressionist French painter.
They call me Mike D Joe Blow the Lover Man
Your face turns red as your glass of wine
You spilled on my lyrics as you wasted my time
Girl you should be with me you should drop that bum
Cause I got more flavor than Fruit Striped Gum
    Flavorful, Beechnut brand chewing gum.
With that big round butt of yours
I'd like to butter your muffin I'm not bluffin'
Serve you on a platter like Thanksgiving stuffin'

h. Mike On the Mic
Known samples:
    Primary sample: "At the Fever" by Lovebug Starski.
Here's a nother one for ya'll to peep
It's called M-I-K-E on the M-I-C
I met this girl last night with a peculiar cackle
I laid the bait and then she took the tackle
Had too much to drink at the Red Lobster
    Red Lobster seafood restaurant chain.
Now the room is spinning around like the blades of a helicopter
I never met a girl that was too finicky
If the press has their way then they're going to finish me
You might know this but you've never been this see
If I ate spinach then I'd be called Spinach D
I shed light like cats shed fur
Ride around town like Raymond Burr
    Raymond Burr portrayed a wheelchair bound detective on the television series Ironside in the 1970's.
I'm so high that they call me Your Highness
If you don't know me then pardon my shyness
I live in the Village wherever I go I walk to
    Greenwich Village, a notorious bohemian-artist neighborhood in NYC.
Keepin' my friends around so I have someone to talk to
I play my music loud because you know it's got clout to it
*It's a trip it's got a funky beat and I can bug out to it*
    sample:  spoken by Lloyd Lindsey.

i. A.W.O.L.
Known samples:
    Primary sample: "Good Times" - Chic.
    Additional samples: "Good to Go" - Trouble Funk.
                               "Loran Dance" - Idris Muhammad.

DJ Hurricane!
Well,  Mike D's in the house, what you gonna do
I go A.W.O.L.
Adrock's in the house, what you gonna do
I go A.W.O.L.
Well,  MCA's in the house, what you gonna do
I go A.W.O.L.
Well,  Hurricane's in the house, what you gonna do
He goes A.W.O.L.
St. James in the house, what's you gonna do
Home 1, what you gonna do
Got busy in the house, what you gonna do
Dust Bros. in the house, what you gonna do
Warren G. in the house, what you gonna do
Lou Gains in the house, what you gonna do
Hollis crew, what you gonna do
John Mish in the house, what you gonna do
Killa Cutty in the house, what you gonna do
Jannet J. in the house
Pat Bain's in the house
Richard Consen's in the house...
Good night Amsterdamn

*Now I want you all to break this down*

To all the girls, all the girls
You liked it, some of it's...