Licensed to Ill

Known samples:
    Drum sample: "When the Levee Breaks" - Led Zeppelin (1971).

Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about
    A reference to the mutiny on the HMS Bounty in 1789. Used commonly in popular vernacular to indicate subversion.
I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out
No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
    Colorful pirate imagery attributed to the fictional pirate Long John Silver from Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island.
'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder
Terrorizing suckers on the seven seas
    The phrase "seven seas" is an idion dating back to ancient times; ss early as 2300 B.C. in a Sumerian hymn, in fact.  There is no "official" seven seas of any sort, it's merely a cliche for referencing all the world's oceans/seas.
And if you've got beef - you'll get capped in the knees
    There is a story of Blackbeard shooting a friend in the kneecap during a poker game, however, more than likely, this is nothing more than the type of "knee capping" one could get from their local loan shark.  Shark pun intended.
We got sixteen men on a dead man's chest
    Another Treasure Island reference, however, misquoted:
                "Fifteen men on the dead man's chest -
                  Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
                  Drink and the devil had done for the rest -
                  Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!"
And I shot those suckers and I'll shoot the rest

(chorus)
Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling
'Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'

Snatching gold chains - vicking pieces of eight
    The "piece of eight" was a gold Spanish coin in circulation during the era of colonial expansion.
I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate
We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties
Housing all girlies from city to city
One for all and all for one
    While a bit off-topic (and reversed), this paraphrase from the Alexandre Dumas book, The Three Musketeers does keep with the sentiments of participating in a subversive group,  and swords.
Taking out M.C.'s with a big sidegun
    The sidegun was the weapon of choice for sinking or crippling ships on the high sea.
All for one and one for all
    Ahhh, here's the correct quote from The Three Musketeers.
Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L.
    Military acronym for Absent Without Official Leave.
Friggin' in the riggin' and cuttin' your throat
    The rigging is the elaborate system of masts, sails, pulleys, ropes, and knots on a large sail ship.  There is an old sailor's song called "Friggin' in the Riggin'" a bawdy, drinking-song about a variety of sexual conduct on-board. You can find a punk band covering it on the Sex Pistols' The Great Rock and Roll Swindle album.
    Pirates earned the title "cut throats" for obvious reasons.
Big biting suckers getting thrown in the moat
We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace
Captain Bligh is gonna die when we break his face
   Captain William Bligh was the ill-fated skipper of the afore mentioned HMS Bounty.

(chorus)

Ali Baba and the forty thieves
   Another literary thief, although not a pirate, from the The Arabian Nights group of stories which also gave us Aladdin and Sinbad.  In hindsight, Sinbad, who was a sailor, would've probably been more appropriate.

Torchin' and crackin' and rhymin' and stealin'
Robbin' and raping - busting two in the ceiling
I'm wheelin' - I'm dealin' - I'm drinking, not thinking
Never cower, never shower - and I'm always stinking
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Brass Monkey
    Another reference to the Treasure Island quatrain but with Brass Monkey in place of rum. Brass Monkey is a traditional mixed drink comprised of rum, vodka and orange juice.
And when my girlie shakes her hips - she sure gets funky
Skirt chasing, free basing - killing every village
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage

(chorus)

I've been drinking my rum - a def son of a gun
*I fought the law* and I cold won
    sample: "I Fought The Law (And The Law Won)" - The Clash (1977).
    note: "I Fought the Law (and the Law Won)"  was written by Sonny Curtis of The Crickets and recorded by them in 1959.  The famous version that most everyone is familiar with was recorded by The Bobby Fuller Four in 1965.  This sample however is a direct lift from The Clash cover version, recorded  in 1977 on their self-titled LP. However, by adding "I  cold won" it seems to ALSO reference the Dead Kennedys' version of the song which claims "I fought the law and I won", a scathing comment on cop-turned-assassin Dan White ("you can get away with murder if you wear a badge").
Blackbeard's weak - Moby Dick's on the tick
    Blackbeard was an English pirate who disrupted shipping routes from Europe to the colonies.
    Moby Dick is the whale that is the centerpiece of a book written by Herman Melville.
'Cause I pull out my jammy and squeeze off six
My pistol is loaded - I shot Betty Crocker
     Betty Crocker started a bakery goods business in the 1920's.
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones' locker
    Colonel Harland Sanders began serving his famous Kentucky Fried Chicken at a small restaurant in the 1950's.
    Davey Jones' locker is a nautical reference for the bottom of the ocean and is often synonymous with death at sea.
    Site visitor Julie Cortez of Yale University suggests that Betty Crocker and The Colonel represent all-American values, both the matriarchal and the patriarchal, respectively, which the Beastie Boys subvert with the lyric.  She goes on to point out, quite accurately, that the corporate logos of both companies are red, white, and blue.

Rhymin' and stealin' in a drunken state
And I'll be rockin' my rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

(chorus)

The New Style

Known samples:
    "Drop The Bomb" - Trouble Funk (1982).

And on the cool check in
Center stage on the mic
And we're puttin' it on wax
It's the new style

Four and three and two and one (What up!)
And when I'm on the mic - the suckers run (Word!)
Down with Adrock and Mike D. and you ain't
And I got more juice than Picasso got paint
    Pablo Picasso (1881-1973), the famous cubist painter.
Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick
I'm not surprised you're on my dick
B-E-A-S-T-I-E, what up Mike D.
Ah yeah, that's me
I got franks and pork and beans
Always bust the new routines
I get it - I got it, I know it's good
The rhymes I write - you wish you would
I'm never in training - my voice is not straining
People always biting and I'm sick of complaining
So I went into the locker room during classes
Bust into your locker and I smashed your glasses
You're from Secaucus - I'm from Manhattan
    Secaucus, New Jersey and Manhattan, New York.
You're jealous of me because your girlfriend is cattin'

*There it is*
    sample: "Peter Piper" - Run-DMC (1986).
Kick it!!!

Father to many - married to none
And in case you're unaware I carry a gun
Stepped into the party - the place was over packed
Saw the kid that dissed my homey and shot him in the back
I had to get a beeper 'cause my phone is tapped
You better keep your mouth shut 'cause I'm fully strapped
I got money in the bank - I can still get high
That's why your girlfriend thinks that I'm so fly
I've got money and juice - twin sisters in my bed
Their father had envy so I shot him in the head
If I played guitar I'd be Jimmy Page
The girlie's I like are underage (Check it!)
    Jimmy Page played guitar for many bands, but most famously for Led Zeppelin from 1968-1980.  It is well-documented that Page had a reputation for having sex with underage groupies.
Girls with boyfriends are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike
Your father - he's jealous 'cause I'm making that green
I've got the girlie's numbers from the places I been

*There it is*
    sample: "Peter Piper" - Run-DMC (1986).
Kick it!!!

You wanna know why - because I'm
October 31st - that is my date of birth
    Ad Rock's birthday is indeed on Halloween.
I got to the party and I did the Smurf
Taxing all females from coast to coast
And when I get my fill I'm chilly most
We rag-tag girlies back at the hotel
And then we all switch places when I ring the bell
I chill at White Castle 'cause it's the best
    The White Castle hamburger restaurant chain.
But I'm fly at Fat Burger when I'm way out west
    Fat Burger is a regional hamburger chain based in California.
K-I-N-G-A-D whammy
All the fly ladies are on my jammy
Went to the prom - wore the fly blue rental
Got six girlies in my Lincoln Continental
    The Lincoln Continental is one of the few American sedans equated with status and luxury.
Met this girl at the party and she started to flirt
I told her some rhymes and she pulled up her skirt
Spent some bank - I got a high powered jumbo
Rolled up a wooly and I watched Columbo
    Columbo aired on NBC in the 1970's starring Peter Falk as the deceptively perceptive Detective Columbo.

Let me clear my throat - Kick it over here baby pop
And let all the fly skimmers, feel the beat...drop

Coolin' on the corner on a hot summer day
Just me, my posse and M.C.A.
A lot of beer - a lot of girls - and a lot of cursing
.22 automatic on my person
Got my hand in my pocket and my finger's on the trigger
My posse's gettin' big - and my posse's gettin' bigger
Some voices got treble - some voices got bass
We got the kind of voices that are in your face
Like the bun to the burger - like the burger to the bun
Like the cherry to the apple - to the peach to the plum
I'm the king of the Ave. - and I'm the king of the block
I'm M.C.A. - and I'm the King Adrock
I'm Mike D. - I got all the fly juice
On the checkin' at the party on the forty deuce
Walking down the block with the fresh fly threads
Beastie Boys fly the biggest heads

She's Crafty
Primary sample:
    "The Ocean" - Led Zeppelin.

Well this girl came up to me - she says she's new in town
But the crew been said they seen her around
I thought they were right but I didn't wanna know
The girlie was def and she wanted to go
I think her name is Lucy but they all call Loose
I think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
    Along 8th Avenue in Manhattan, one block over from the theatre district, in the vicinity of 42nd Street is a cluster of adult bookstores, strip clubs, and bars.  The first time I walked this section at night I was greeted by quite a few "hey baby" calls from ladies/trannies loitering on the sidewalk.  In this context, seeing a girl down on 8th Avenue and 42nd Street suggests ill repute.
The next think she said, "My place or yours?
Let's kick some bass behind closed doors!"
We got into the cab - the cab driver said
He recognized my girlie from the back of her head
He said a little something about "tip to base"
So I made him stop the cab to get out of the place
I shouldn't have looked back man I'll always regret it
Something's going on and I'll probably never get it
She was crying like a baby - stupid dumb
It's just too bad that girl's a bum

(chorus)
She's crafty - she's gets around
She's crafty - she's always down
She's crafty - she's got a gripe
She's crafty - and she's just my type
She's crafty

I spent my last dollar to by a Sabrett
    A Sabrett is a famous hot dog sold by street vendors.
When I seen this girl I could never forget
Now I like nothing better than a pretty girl smile
And I haven't seen a smile that pretty in a while
The girl came up to me she said she loved the show
Asked her to come home and she couldn't say, "No!"
We got the crib - there's Adam and D.
We didn't say a word - they just stared at me
I said, "I don't know her. Just met her tonight."
And Adrock started hiding everything in sight
D. pulled me over said, "Hide your gold,
The girl is crafty like ice is cold!"
The girl is crafty - she knows all the moves
I started playing records - she knew all the grooves
He thought she was a thief - and D. was right
But I just figured she'd spend the night
When I woke up late in the afternoon
She had taken all the things from inside his room
I found myself sleeping in the middle of the floor
She had taken the bed and the chest of drawers
The mirror, the TV, the new guitar cord
My remote control and my old skateboard
She robbed us blind - she took all we owned
And the boys blamed me for bringing her home

(chorus)

Posse In Effect

Yes, yes, y'all - you don't stop
You keep it on - and shockin' the place
Well I'm M.C.A. - I got nothing to prove
Pay attention - my intention is to bust a move
I drink quarts and cans and bottles and sixes
Between the turntables keep the vodka and the mixes
I'm Mike D. - I got the deuces wild
A list of girlies numbers that I've dialed
I do the Smurf, the Popeye, and the Jerry Lewis
    Presumably, some dance steps from Mike D's ever growing repretoire.  While I don't know anything about how to perform these dances, we can certainly talk about their references.
    The Smurfs, of course, was a popular cartoon show about little blue people who lived in mushrooms.
    Popeye the Sailor Man is is a King Features comic strip character.
    Jerry Lewis is the comicactor famous for his work with Dean Martin and his national telethon everyyear on Labor Day.
  I like Bullwinkle but I don't like Moose
    Bullwinkle, of the animated television program, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.
    Moose is a big dumb jock from the Archie comic series.
    Bullwinkle also happened to BE a moose.
I'm schoolin' in the boys' room - coolin' by the locker
All the girls in class know that I'm the cool rocker
Punk in the hall - man I should of oughtta hit him
Had the fresh rhymes and the kid cold bit 'em
Smokin' in the boys room is what I do best
    "Smoking in the Boys Room" - Brownsville Station (1973)
While you were at a party - your girlfriend fessed
I keep a pistol in my pocket so you better be cautious
Fly around the world - but it makes me nauseous
Mike D.'s day off everyday of the week
I got to the party - and I did the freak
I got a girl in the castle and one in the pagoda
You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda
    Abe Vigoda is probably best known for his character Detective Fish on the television show Barney Miller which aired in the 1970's.
I'm a def Manhattan killer - a rhyme driller
A mike in my hand and a mouth full of Miller
    Miller Brewing Company, USA (Miller Lite, Miller Genuine Draft, etc)
I got a hat not a visor - I drink Budweiser
    Another American beer brand (Budweiser, Bud Light, etc.)
The turntables - up on the drum riser
The needle's in the groove and the vinyl's on the platter
I know that I'm fly man there's no need to flatter
I travel around the globe - it's keeping girlies dizzy
My name's Mike D. - now watch me *get busy y'all*
sample: "Pee Wee's Dance" - Joeski Love (1986).

You're a fake wearin' sucker whose gold got rusted
Cheaper than a hot do with no mustard
You tried to steal my fresh and you got cold busted
Because your crew's all soft and I'm disgusted
I'm from downtown the city of Manhattan
I got a lotta girlies and not one's cattin'
My posse's in effect and we're doin' the do
And we got more rhymes than your damn crew
Caught you poppin' that weak and you must of been dusted
Stuck you head in the toilet and stone cold flushed it
Word.

Slow Ride

They got a committee to get me off the block
'Cause I say my rhymes loud and I say 'em nonstop
Because being bad news is what we're all about
We went to White Castle and we got thrown out
    The White Castle hamburger restaurant chain.
I got my boy Mike D. - I got the King Adrock
I got the jammy with the ammo inside my sock
I shot homeboy but the bullet was a dud
So I reached in the Miller cooler - grabbed a cool Bud
    Yet another Miller and Budwesier reference.
Slow riding, gun hidin' on the go
I'm fly like an eagle and I drink Old Crow
    "Fly Like an Eagle" - Steve Miller Band (1976).
     Old Crow bourbon is a product of the Jim Beam Distilleries.
I'm the king of the classroom - coolin' in the back
My teacher had beef so I gave her a smack
She chased me out of class, she was strapped with a ruler
Went to the bathroom - rolled myself a wooler
    An antiquated term in marijuana culture, a woolly bully is a poorly rolled marijuana joint that's difficult to smoke.  This later morphed into "wooler" being used as a slang term for marijuana cigarettes in general.
With bottle in hand at the microphone stand
A. yo homeboy - what you drinkin' man

I got money - I got juice
I got to the party and I got loose
I got rhythm - I got rhymes
I got the girlies with the def behinds
I got ill - I got busted
I got dust and I got dusted
I got gold - I got funky
I got the new dance - they call the Brass Monkey
    Brass Monkey is a mixed drink of rum, vodka, and orange juice, although here evidently it is some sort of dance.

Because I'm hard hittin' - always bitten - cool as hell
I got trees on my mirror so my car won't smell
    You know the little pine tree air freshners that hang from rearview mirrors?
Sittin' around the house - gettin' high and watchin' tube
    "Take the Money and Run" - Steve Miller Band (1976). Original lyrics:
        "This is a story about Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue
        Two young lovers with nothin' better to do
        Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
        And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose"

Eating Colonel's chicken - drinkin' Heineken brew
    Colonel's chicken is Kentucky Fried Chicken.
    Heineken is a trendy beer from Holland.
I'm a gangster, I'm a prankster - I'm the king of the Ave.
I'm hated, confrontated for the juice that I have
All the fly ladies are making a fuss
But I can't pay attention - 'cause I'm on that dust

Girls

Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls

I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile
    The White Castle hamburger restaurant chain.
    The Nile is a large river in Egypt.

Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, "Please?" - he said, "You may."
Her pants were tight and that's ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay

I hope she'll say, "Hey me and you should hit the hay!"
I asked her out - she said, "No way!"
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls, girls!

Fight For Your Right (To Party)

You wake up late for school - man you don't wanna go
You ask you mom, "Please?" - but she still says, "No!"
You missed two classes - and no homework
But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk

(chorus) You gotta fight for your right to party

You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"
That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day
Man, living at home is such a drag
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Bust it!)

(chorus)

Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear
I'll kick you out of my home is you don't cut that hair
Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"
Aw, mom you're just jealous - it's the Beastie Boys!

(chorus twice)

No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn

(chorus)
No sleep 'til - Brooklyn

Foot on the pedal - never ever false metal
Engine running hotter than a boiling kettle
My job's ain't a job - it's a damn good time
City to city - I'm running my rhymes
On location - touring around the nation
Beastie Boys always on vacation
Itchy trigger finger but a stable turntable
I do what I do best because I'm illing and able
Ain't no faking - your money I'm taking
Going coast to coast - watching all the girlies shaking
While you're at the job working nine to five
The Beastie Boys at the Garden - cold kickin' it live
    Madison Square Garden, quite possibly the world's most famous arena, is located in Manhattan, NYC.

No sleep 'til -

Another plane - another train
Another bottle in the brain
Another girl - another fight
Another drive all night
Our manager's crazy - he always smokes dust
He's got his own room at the back of the bus
Tour around the world - you rock around the clock
Plane to hotel - girls on the jock
We're trashing hotels like it's going out of style
Getting paid along the way cause it's worth your while
Four on the floor - Adrock's out the door
M.C.A.'s in the back because he's skeezin' with a whore
We got a safe in the trunk with money in a stack
With dice in the front and Brooklyn's in the back

No sleep 'til

(chorus)

Ain't seen the light since we started this band
M.C.A. - get on the mic my man
Born and bred Brooklyn - U.S.A.
They all me Adam Yauch - but I'm M.C.A.
Like a lemon to a lime - a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the fly women
Got limos, arena, TV shows
Autograph pictures and classy hos
Step off homes - get out of my way
Taxing little girlies form here to L.A.
Waking up before I get to sleep
Cause I'll be rocking this party eight days a week
    "Eight Days A Week" - The Beatles (1964).

(chorus)

Paul Revere

Now here's a little story - I've got to tell
About three bad brothers - you know so well
It started way back in history
With Adrock, M.C.A., and me - Mike D.
He had a little horsie named Paul Revere
    Historically, Paul Revere was the watchout during the American War of Independence who rode through town on a horse yelling "The Regulars Are Coming! The Regulars Are Coming!" Site visitor Flip Kromer offers this interesting tidbit: apparently in the song "Fugue for Tinhorns" from the musical Guys and Dolls is the following line: "I got the horse right here/The name is Paul Revere"
Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer
Riding across the land - kicking up sand
Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand
One lonely Beastie I be
All by myself - without nobody
The sun is beating down on my baseball hat
The air is gettin' hot - the beer is getting flat
Lookin' for a girl - I ran into a guy
His name is M.C.A., I said, "Howdy" - he said, "Hi"

He told a little story - that sounded well rehearsed
Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst
The brew was in my hand - and he was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry - he asked me for a sip
He said, "Can I get some?"
I said, "You can't get none!"
Had a chance to run
He pulled out his shotgun
He was quick on the draw - I thought I'd be dead
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,

"Now my name is M.C.A. - I've got a license to kill
I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill
Now what do we have here - an outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand - I make myself clear."
We stepped into the wind - he had a gun, I had a grin
You think this story's over but it's ready to begin

"Now I got the gun - you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me"
I said, "I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this - I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
    A whiffle ball is a hollow, plastic ball with holes cut into the surface.  The design keeps the ball from travelling too far, too fast and is used as a primer for small children to learn the basics of baseball.  The whiffle ball bat is typically made of hard molded plastic and very slender.
So I'm on the run - the cop's got my gun
And right about now - it's time to have some fun
The King Adrock - that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours then we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
M.C.A. said, "Yippee Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't." - but I know he did
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Mike D. and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the jammy - aimed it at the sky
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" - and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
"I'm Mike D. and I get respect
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect"
M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out - the music stopped
His boy had beef - and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money - M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold.
Hold It Now - Hit It!
Known samples:
    "The Return Of Leroy" - The Jimmy Castor Bunch (1977).
    "Funky Stuff" - Kool And The Gang (1973).
    "Drop The Bomb" - Trouble Funk (1982).
    "Take Me To The Mardis Gras" - Bob James (1975).
    "Christmas Rappin’" - Kurtis Blow (1979).
    "La Di Da Di" - Doug E Fresh And MC Ricky D (1985).

*Hold it now*
*Hit it*
*Yo Leroy*
 

Ahhh yeah yeah, yah yah... yah,  why don't you do that def jam right about now

Now I chill real ill when I start to chill
When I fill my pockets with a knot of dollar bills
Sipping pints of ale out the window sill
When I get my fill I'm chilly chill
Now I just got home because I'm out on bail
What's the time? - it's time to buy ale
Peter eater - parking meter all of the time
If I run out of ale - it's Thunderbird wine
    A cheap, whino-style American wine.
Miller drinking - chicken eating - dress so fly
    Miller Brewing Company
I got friends in high places that are keeping me high
Dow with Mike D. and it ain't no hassle
Got the ladies of the eighties from here to White Castle
    The White Castle hamburger restaurant chain.

*Hold it now*
*Hit it*
*Yo Leroy*
*it's my jump, it's my... hold it now... it's my rhyme*
 

M.C. - Adam Yauch in the place to be
And all the girls are on me cause I'm down with Mike D.
I'm down with Mike D. and it ain't no baloney
For real, not phony - O.E. and Rice-a-Roni
    "O.E." is Olde English Malt Liquor.
    Rice-a-Roni is a quick-serve rice meal, "the San Fransisco treat!".
I come out at night 'cause I sleep all day
And I'm the King Adrock and he's M.C.A.
Well I'm cruising, I'm bruising - I'm never ever losing
I'm in my car - I'm going far and dust is what I'm using
Around the way is where I'm from
And I'm from Manhattan and I'm not a bum
Because you're pud-slapping, ball-flapping - got that juice
My name's Mike D. and I can do that Jerry Lewis
    Jerry Lewis is a comic actor famous for his work with Dean Martin and his annual telethon every Labor Day.

*Hold it now*
*Hit it*
*Yo Leroy*

Yo man, that was real def man, try that again, man I like that def stuff, boyeee

Hip-hop, body rockin' - doing the do
    "Do the Do" - Kurtis Blow (1980).
Beer drinking, breath stinking, sniffing glue
Belly flipping, always illing, busting caps
My name's Mike D. and I write my own snaps
I'm a peep-show seeking on the forty-deuce
I'm a killer at large and I'm on the loose
Pistol packing, Monkey drinking, no money bum
    Monkey, again, Brass Monkey (rum, vodka, and orange juice)
I come from Brooklyn 'cause that's where I'm from
Cheap-skate, perpetrating - money hungry jerk
Everyday I drink a O.E. and I don't go to work
    Another Olde English Malt Liquor reference.
You drippy nose knuckle-head - you're wet behind the ears
You like men - and we like beer.

*Hold it now*
*Hit it*
*Yo Leroy*

*yo man, pass that over here, man... all right*

King of the Ave. with the def female
You're rhyming and stealin' with the freshest ale
Cooling at the crib watching my TV
Ed Norton - Ted Knight - and Mr. E-D
    Three television references here:
        Ed Norton was portrayed by Art Carney on the television series The Honeymooners in the 1950's.
        Ted Knight is a comedic actor who portrayed Ted on The Mary Tyler Moore Show in the 1970's.
       Mr. Ed is the famous talking horse who had his own show in the 1950's.
Pump it up homeboy - just don't stop
Chef Boy-ar-dee cooling on the pot
    Chef Boy-ar-dee is a maker of canned pasta meals like SpaghettiO's and Ravioli,
I take no slack cause I got the knack
And I'm never dusting out cause I torch that crack
The King Adrock - that is my name
And you're drinking Moet - we got the champagne
    Moet & Chandon champagne.
A quarter dropping - going shopping buying wigs
Surgeon general cut professor - D.J. Thigs

*Hold it now*
*Hit it*
*Yo Leroy*

Brass Monkey

    Brass Monkey is used throught this album as both a drink and a dance. I don't know about the dance, but Brass Monkey is a mixed drink comprised of equal parts vodka and rum, mixed with orange juice.

(chorus)
Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey - junkie
That funky Monkey

Got this dance that's more than real
Drink Brass Monkey - here's how you feel
Put your left leg down - your right leg up
Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup
M.C.A. with the bottle - D. rocks the can
Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan
    Charlie Chan is a film character. He is a chinese mystery solver. Close personal friend Michael McDonald (yes, THE Michael McDonald) suggests that in this context, with all of the alcohol references surrounding this line, that "Charlie Chan" may actually be a clever reference to Moet & Chandon.
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas
     Moet & Chandon champagne.
     Chivas Regal is a scotch whiskey.
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us
Adrock drinks three - Mike D. is D.
Double R. foots the bill most definitely
    Most likely, Rick Rubin.
I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well
I got a Castle in Brooklyn - that's where I dwell
    One possible interpretation comes from scoats@greylodge.com, that at the time this was written, there were no White Castles in Manhattan but there was one in Brooklyn.  It could also, simply refer to the fact that Yauch, who is     speaking this line is from Brooklyn, and a man's home is his castle.

(chorus)

Cause I drink it anytime - and anyplace
When it's time to get ill - I pour it on my face
Monkey tastes Def when you pour it on ice
Come on y'all it's time to get nice
Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew - we're drinking Brass Monkey
This girl walked by - she gave me the eye
I reached in the locker - grabbed the Spanish Fly
    Ahhh, that mythical aphrodisiac.  Spanish Fly supposedly can be slipped into someone's drink or cooked in their food and it will illicit arousal.
I put it with the Monkey - mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
I offered her a sip - the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip

(chorus)

Step up to the bar - put the girl down
She takes a big gulp and slaps it around
Take a sip - you can do it - you get right to it
We had a case in the place and we went right through it
You got a dry Martini - thinking you're cool
    Shaken or stirred? Either way, you make it with 2 parts dry gin and 1 part Vermouth.  Actually, a bartender once told me that stirring "bruises" the martini, which is why in most bars, martinis are shaken and not stirred.  Not that this has anything to do with this lyric, but it's interesting information to know ;-)
I'll take your place at the bar - I smack you off your stool
I'll down a '40 dog" in a single gulp
And if you got beef you'll get beat to a pulp
Monkey and parties and reelin' and rockin'
Def, def - girls, girls - all y'all jockin'
The song and dance keeping you in a trance
If you don't buy my record I got my advance
I drink it - I think it - I see it - I be it
I love Brass Monkey but I won't give D. it
We got the bottle - you got the cup
Come on everybody let's get ffffff

(chorus)

Slow And Low

(chorus)
Let it flow - let yourself go
Slow and low - that is the tempo

It's never old school - all brand new
So everybody catch - the boogaloo flu
    Ok, some of this is guess work, but here's what I propose. In the late 1950's, Huey "Piano" Smith and the Clowns recorded a song called "Rockin' Pneumonuia and the Boogie Woogie Flu" (most notably covered by Aerosmith and can be found on the Less Than Zero soundtrack), penned by Johnny Vincent and Huey Smith. A member of Smith's group was named Bobby Marchan, who later pursued his own career in the mid 1960's and also recorded a similarly named song but tweaked the title to "Rockin' Pneumonia (and the Boogaloo Flu)".
Not like a fever - not like a cold
The beats are clear - the rhymes are bold
So don't see a doctor or see a nurse
Just listen to the music - first things first
First of all - get off the wall
It's time to party so have a ball
Because we slowed it on down - so get the hell up
Like a volcano I'll erupt
We got determination - bass and highs
White Castle fries only come in one size
    The White Castle hamburger restaurant chain.
What you see is what you get
And you ain't seen - nothing yet
    "8th Wonder" - Sugarhill Gang (1980).
    Original lyrics:
        "What you see is what you get
          And you ain't seen nothing yet
          I don't think I'm bad, don't box, no karate
          Just an MC to put the boogie in your body"

(chorus)

I do not sing - but I make a def song
You could live your whole life - and I hope you live long
On the Gong Show we won't get gonged
    The Gong Show was a variety television program from the 1970's which featured very poor performances by everyday people being judged by third rate celebrities (I think Jamie Farr had a permanent seat).  In the event that an act was too terrible and the judges wanted to stop the performance, they banged on a huge gong, hence the title.
We're the Beastie Boys - not Cheech and Chong
    Cheech and Chong was the comedic duo comprised of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong in the 1970's
Strong as an ox - fresh out the box
The crowd is so live - they're coming in flocks
And when we go on - the crowd goes off
It's all hard rock - there's nothing soft

(chorus)

We don't only rock the house but we'll house we rock
We don't stroll but we roll straight to the top
M.C.A., Adrock, Mike D. makes three
And we can do it like this in the place to be
When I'm recorded - you'll be rewarded
I know my song is def 'cause you all applauded
Not PCP. or LSD. - just me Mike D. in the place to be
    PCP, or "angel dust" (Phencyclidine), was conceived as a clinical anesthetic but the project was shelved due to the adverse side-effects, primarily, psychosis. I recall reading an article once about tests of PCP on laboratory rabbits in the early development of the drug: the rabbit would sit calmly, completely alert and watch as a scientist disected its chest and removed it heart.
    LSD, or lysergic acid diethylamide-25, is the notorious hallucinogen discovered by Dr. Albert Hoffman in 1938.
This is not free - you must pay a fee
Cash on delivery like a C.O.D.

(chorus)

The beat is slow in order to dance
I wanna hear I dos and no I can't
First you move your legs - and then your arms
It's not fast and nervous - this dance is calm
It's truly stable and you ought to be able
To dance to the record when it's on the turntable

(chorus)

Time To Get Ill

I'm not the type of person who likes to waste my time
And when I'm on the mic - I just say my rhymes
Because I'm out on bail - the check is in the mail
They can sentence me to life - but I won't go to jail
I'm cool calm collected - from class I was ejected
    "Cool, Calm, and Collected" - The Rolling Stones (1967).
Just me, Mike D., and M.C.A. - we're rarely disrespected
I got all the time that I need to kill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

music sample:
    "I’m Gonna Love You Just A Little Bit More Baby" - Barry White (1973).

You been fully captivated by that funky ass bass
Your girlfriend screams when M.C.A.'s in the place
He stumbles in the room with the Chivas in his hand
    Chivas Regal is a scotch whiskey.
Cold chillin' on the spot at the microphone stand
I'd have the pedal to the metal if I had a car
But I'm chiller with the Miller - cold coolin' at the bar
    Miller Brewing Company family of beers.
I can drink a quart of Monkey and still stand still
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

*Lookin' at my Gucci, it's about that time*
    sample: "Gucci Time" - Schooly D (1986).

Went outside my house - I went down to the deli
I spent my last dime to refill my fat belly
I got rhymes galime - I got rhymes galilla
And I got more rhymes than Phyllis Diller
    Semi-famous comedic actress popular in the 1960's and '70's.
M.C.A. takes a stand - man you're in command
Homeboy, turn it out and don't give a damn
My name is M.C.A. - I've got a license to kill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

*I'm Mr. Ed.  The famous Mr. Ed*
    sample: "Theme from Mr Ed".

Riding down the block with my box in my hand
Today I feel like chillin' just as chill as I can
Coolin' on the corner with a forty of O.E.
    Olde English Malt Liquor.
'Cause me and M.C.A. we're down with Mike D.
When I run a jam - I don't give a damn
When I'm throwing bass - I say, "Thank you ma'am."
Fuel injected, rhyme connected - running things
I'm the King Adrock and I'm the king of all kings
I'm looking for a spot - things are gettin' hot
I'm M.C.A., I'm here to stay - and you sir, are not
Oh no, it could not be - it's such a sight to see
It's such a trip - you're on my tip so listen to Mike D.
My work is my play - cause I'm playing when I work
My name's Mike D., as you can see and I can do the jerk
M.C.A., Adrock, Mike D. - it's chill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

samples:
    "Down On the Corner" - Creedence Clearwater Revival (1969)
    "Custard Pie" - Led Zeppelin (1975)