Hot Sauce Committee Part Two


These lyrics are a work in progress, obviously.  Please be patient. :)

Make Some Noise


Yes, here we go again, give you more, nothing lesser
Back on the mic is the anti-depressor
    Some playing with words and cultural language.  AD is often used in pharmaceutical and medical literature as an acronym for Anti-Depressant medication.  Also, we have the King Ad Rock on the mic, and who can be depressed when listening to him?
Ad-Rock, no pressure, yes, we need this
The best is yet to come, and yes, believe this

Leggo my Eggo while I flex my ego
    Eggo is a brand of frozen waffles by the Kellogg Company.  The slogan "Leggo my Eggo" has been used in their advertising since the 1970s.
IsSip on Prosecco, dressed up tuxedo
    Prosecco is a sparkling Italian wine similar to champagne.
Sipping coffee, playing Keno in the casino
    Keno is a lottery/bingo style game found in casinos
Want a lucky number, ask Mike Dino
 
I burn the competition like a flamethrower
My rhymes age like wine as I get older
I'm getting bolder, competition is waning
I got the ball and I see the lane and

We got a party on the left, a party on the right
We gotta party for the motherfucking right to fight
    Obviously their own song "Fight For Your Right To Party", but also, Public Enemy had a song called "Party For Your Right To Fight" in the late 1980s
Make some noise if you're with me
Make some noise if you're with me
 
Our resurrection by popular election
Get paid every year like tax collection
Hear my perfection, rotary connection
Taking MCs down by lethal rap injection
 
I'm like an ornithologist when I get dissed
You must have drank a fizzy lifting drink and you got lifted
    Fizzy Lifting Drink is a fictional beverage from the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1964) by Roald Dahl and of course its subsequent film adaptations.
And sifted, I'm just riffin
And when I catch MCs it's time for wing-clipping

I fly like a hawk, or better yet an eagle
A seagull, I sniff suckers out like a beagle
My ego is off and running and gone
Cause I'm about the best and if you fess, then that's wrong

We got a party on the left, a party on the right
We gotta party for the motherfucking right to fight
Make some noise if you're with me
Make some noise if you're with me

Pass me the scalpel, I'll make an incision
I'll cut off the part of your brain that does the bitching
Put it in formaldehyde and put it on a shelf
And you can show it to your friends and say "that's my old self"

Can't do me nothing, can't tell me nada
Don't quote me now because I'm doing the lambada
The forbidden dance, here's my chance
    The Forbidden Dance was a 1990 film which tried to cash-in on the lambada dance craze of the era.  The lamabada is a dance for couples of South American origin.
To make romance in my B-boy stance

Parlay my romancing into financing
Opened up a restaurant with Ted Danson
    One would assume this song and its lyrics were written prior to Danson's restaurant cameo in the video and short film which accompanies this album.  I'm thinking this might be a reference to the season 3 episode of the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry and Jeff invest in a celebrity restaurant with Ted Danson.
The roaches check in, but they never check out
    A paraphrase of the advertising slogan used by the Black Flag company for their line of "Roach Motel" insect bait traps, "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."
I set the record straight, no doubt

Nonstop Disco Powerpack

(Well how you feelin Ad Rock?) Well I'm feelin well
Bonafide, qualified, with a story to tell
(Well how you feelin Mike D?) Well I feel all good
All day is how we play in the neighborhood
(Well how you feelin MCA?) Well I feel right
I swing my words on the track cause the track sound tight
(So if you're feelin good and you're feelin right)
(Uhh, somebody step up and grab the mic)

Well hello everybody and how you been
It's Ad Rock rappin on the microphone again
I got grace class style finesse and debonaire
Murderalize motherfuckers cause I just don't care
The MC Whisperer kinda like a trainer
    Horse whispering dates back to 19th century Ireland and a man named Daniel "Horse-Whisperer" Sullivan.  The term became synonymous over the years with the practice of natural horsemanship, and was popularized by the 1998 film The Horse Whisperer, directed by Robert Redford.  Through the 2000s, the phrase has been co-opted for other things like Ghost Whisperer and Dog Whisperer.  In essence, it's come mean someone who has an innate, natural ability to communicate with something incapable of traditional language like speech or writing.  Ad Rock is suggesting then, that lesser MCs are incapable of communication and that his skills are on a completely different level.
I take sucker rappers, I put 'em through a strainer
Like macaroni cause their shit sound cheesy
Watch how it's done boy, it looks easy
The non-stop, goin off, kingpin, microphone boss
Do my own thing, you can't afford the cost
Of my fly style take you through the turnstile
'Cause I'm live and direct, and I'm wicked and wild
Because I'm back on a roll, got total control
I flow like the water out your toilet bowl
Your style is cheap boy, just like a Dutch
    There's an ethnic steretype that Dutch people are cheap, which is where get such phrases as "Dutch date" and "Dutch picnic".  Given the next line about not smoking on the mic, it possibly doubles as a play on the Dutch Masters cigar, popular with blunt rollers.
You know you're not smokin' on the microphone much
There's a certain special talent that I never lack
Huh-ha, huh-ha, and that's a fact
'Cause we shine like the chrome on a Cadillac
You better break a wishbone 'cause we're never wack
    Refers to the American tradition of breaking the so-called "wishbone" found in a cooked bird, usually turkey.  Two people grab each end of the wishbone and pull simultaneously while fervently making a wish.  After the bone breaks, the person with the longest piece has their wish granted.  The lyric suggests that since Beastie Boys are never wack, the only way you could possibly equal or best them would be to make a wish to the supernatural gods of luck.
Said we're never that and that is that
We're the nonstop disco powerpack
Uh, that's right, we go all night
Who gonna be the next to bless the mic?

Now this is the way we run it down
We're gettin you high on the funky sound
This is the way we get it on
B-Boys in the house 'til the break of dawn

See, I mix my style up like a cement mixer
Smooth and fix ya, like a rhyme elixir
I said, "Yo, sound man, make Mike's mic louder"
Don't make me sound cheap like a box of douche powder
I max and relax, champagne mojito
    The mojito is a traditional mixed drink of Cuban origin comprised of rum, mint, sugar, lime juice, and sparkling water.  The champagne mojito substitues the sparkling water for sparkling wine.
Don't go commando, don't know bandito
    "Going commando" is slang for not wearing underwear.  A bandito is a term for bandits/criminals usually specific to Mexico and the old West, otherwise I'm not really sure what is being reference here.
Je m'appelle Michel Pérignon
    In French, literally "My name is Michel Perignon" which is probably just Mike playing with his self-referencing.  Given his well-dcoumented interest in wines, might also be a reference to Jean Michel Gremillet Perignon champagne.
Me and Claude in the chateau and we got it going on
Quincy's in the hot tub like it's '73
Looking over his shoulder and he's looking at me
I'm all white in the face, towel around my waist
What's up with that watch inside that glass case?
    Honestly, I have no idea what this section is about, but it is one of the more obtuse things on the album that everyone seems to be curious about.  The closest I've come so far are two possibilities:  1) Claude Nobs is the director of the Montreux Jazz Festival in Montreux, Switzerland.  One of Miles Davis' most famous performances occurred there in 1973.  Davis was a long-time collaborator with Quincy Jones.  During the 1990s, Nobs made Jones a co-director of the festival and Davis an honorary host.  Quincy Jones also has a signature watch created by Swiss watch-maker Audemars Piguet.  And, of course, you'd stay in a chateau in Switzerland.  How all of this relates to the lyrics?  No idea.  Maybe there is some documentary that Mike has seen that he's recreating or maybe this is just his imagination at work.  2)  In 1973, Quincy Jones was credited as a composer for music on the U.S. television series Banachek.  Given Mike D's love for 1970s detective shows, it could have something to do with this as well.
I go to make my move, sneak out of the place
Undetected, not leaving a trace
Party's done, microphone's wrecked
Wine's been drunk and heads been checked
    Beastie Boys - Check Your Head (1992)
I see one last profiterole and make my play
    While it sounds like a mood altering pharmaceutical a middle-class housewife might use to take the edge off of her day, profiterole is in fact a cream puff dessert pastry.
And pass the microphone to MCA

Nonstop, on the top, and you clock, when we rock
Never fakin', no mistakin', we be makin' hip hop
So come on everybody get down...yeah
Now it's a spot check, hit the deck count down
'Cause I'm a break it down for you, how we run it down
Pound for pound, keep the bass lines round
I seen you watchin', jockin', clockin' my sound
But, for real, I'm real glad I grew up in hip hop
Still got mad love for a record called "Beat Bop"
    "Beat Bop" - Rammelzee and K-Rob (1983)
It meant a lot spinning on my Walkman
    The Walkman was a portable cassette tape made by Sony. They were so ubiquitous that the term Walkman became synonymous with any portable cassette player.
Shout out to the Afrika Bam
    Early hip-hop pioneer Afrika Bambaataa.
And to the S to the P the double O-N-Y
    Early hip-hop artist Spoonie Gee.
The one MC who you can't deny
I'd listen to the records and they'd inspire
Sit down to write and the pen breathes fire
Construct a rhyme with specific intent
Flowin' from the brain cells, right through the pen
And then I put the book down, grab ahold the mic
Words flowin' so cold, turn water to ice
Come through the wire, saturate the tape
You put me in the mix, nice it up with the plate
And then they press it on wax, sell it in the store
The DJ spin the record out on the dance floor
Comin' through the speakers to shake your eardrum
Brain cells get lit, then you hear where we're comin' from

Ad Rock, *huh* Get it on
We gonna rock the house until the break of dawn
Now Mike D, *huh* Get it on
We gonna rock the house until the break of dawn
And MCA *yeah* get it on
We gonna rock the house until the break of dawn
Beastie Boys in the house don't stop!!!

Ok

OKAAAYYYY!!!
You talk and talk and you just can't stop
A word comes to mind, it's "crock"
What you say is lackluster
Plus it seems you're trying to pull a filibuster
    Filibuster is a parliamentary procedure.  Specifically in U.S. leigslatives bodies, it refers to the practice of extending debate by abusing the rights granted to the speaker on the floor to discuss any topic for as long as he wants unless over-ruled by sufficient majority. It's used to stall debate, and ultimately, to delay the vote, and is mostly used as a means of moral protest than any real strategy. There are instances where lawmakers have simply stood and read names out of a phonebook as part of their filibuster.  Hence, the term has become synonymous in popular culture with anyone who is talking and talking and talking, and not really say anything.

Yeah, right, yeah, ok
Tell me something new to start the day
Said 'See you later, when you coming home?'
It's a gift, it's a curse, it's the telephone

Now let's start over with a nice clean slate
Please stop stressing with the hurry-up-wait
Heard you the first time, that sounds great
But back up out my space, ok

Yeah-yeah, right-right, ok

Ok
Ok
Ok
Ok

Wrapped in pink ribbon, so pretty
My name's Mike D from New York City
I guess it's there in the mind
What I leave behind

I thought it'd be smooth like a nice Nutter Butter
   
But I start to cringe every word that you utter
Yes, you said you are a big deal
But, money, calm down for real

Got to control my mind
Got to slow down, rewind
What is going on in my head?
Why's the sky gone red?

What is going on in my head?
Why's the sky gone red?
What is going on in my head?

What is going on in my head?
Why's the sky gone red?
What is going on in my head?
Why's the sky gone red?

What is going on in my head?
What is going on in my head?

Now, I don't give a fuck who the hell you are
Please stop shouting in your cellular
I never asked to be part of your day
So please stop shouting in your phone, ok?

You lie like a plain clothes cop
Take a minute, take a look, and take stock
Take a minute, get your mind unlocked
Get open and I'll throw you the rock

What is going on in my head?
And why has the sky gone all red?
Be kind, rewind
Or at least tell me what it is I did
Or just say what should I say
Hmm, ok?

Yeah-yeah, right-right, ok

Ok
Ok
Ok
Ok

Too Many Rappers

Mic check, mic check

One, one, two, two, three, three
Too many rappers, and there's still not enough MCs
It goes three, three, two, two, one, one
MCA, Ad-Rock, Mike D, that's how we get it done like
Ladies and gents attention, Nas in the house
With Beastie Boys, we can turn it out
Perpetrators, we can point 'em out
So if you got somethin' on your mind, let it out

Like a Nexus 6 coming home to roost
    The Nexus 6 is a model of "replicant" from the 1982 film Blade Runner.  Explaining how this relates to the idion "coming home to roost" would entail spoiling the plot of the movie, so we'll just leave it at that.
Handheld 58 when it's time to get loose
    Probably refers to the Shure SM58 wireless microphone.
Don't need the ear goggles, put me through the speakers
Like a scientist with tubes and beakers
Have MCs over my house and make some brunch,
But you rappers? We going out, going Dutch
    The overall gist of the song ("too many rappers, not enough MCs") suggests that there is a difference between people who are just going through the motions of being a rap performer, and someone who is a dedicated MC (in the old-school sense, a Mic Controller).  The sentiment of the two previous two lines is that MCA only hangs with other MCs (in his home, even) but with all the "rappers" you'll go out to eat and you can pay for your own meal ("going Dutch").
So pass me the sword, I'll start swinging
Just randomly chopping on a crazy ass mission

Because I'm back with a bang boogie, oogie oogie
    "Boogie Oogie Oogie" by A Taste Of Honey (1978)
Strawberry Letter 23 like Shuggie
    "Strawberry Letter 23" by Shuggie Otis (1972)
Oh, my God, just look at me
Grandpa been rappin' since '83
    1983 was the year "Cooky Puss" was released, the first Beastie Boys rap recording.
Oh, I'm supersonic like J.J. Fad
    Supersonic, a 1988 album by J.J. Fad.
Got crazy ass shit pullin' out the bag
Don't forget the tartar sauce, yo, 'cause it's sad
All these crap rappers, they're rappin' like crabs

I have carte blanche, the vagabond
Nas is the narcissist, my pockets are rotund
I'm no killa, but compared to you, I'm more real'a
You ain't a shot, a mobster, or a drug dealer
A slug peeler, you're not, mafioso, no
You ain't got the cutthroat in ya, beginner
I ain't tryin' to hear your racket
You work with police, dog, you snitch, you rat, you wear that jacket

How many rappers must get dissed
Gimme eight bars, and watch me bless this
I start to reminisce, oh, when I miss
The real hip hop with which I persist
Like rum in mojitos, bullets and banditos
Matzah balls in soup, jackets and troop
    The above two lines are things-that-go-together in Mike's mind.  A mojito is a cocktail made from rum.  Banditos in old Western movies always wore belts of bullets straed across their chests.  Matzah balls are a Jewish bread made from matzah meal.  It is often served in a broth as matzah ball soup, a kind-of dumpling soup.  Troop is a clothing company specializing in urban-wear.  The Troop jacket has been a long-favored staple of hip-hop fashion dating back to the 80s.
Yes, y'all, this is one for the history books
Nasty Nas, what's the word, count it off on the hook

Let's go! One, one, two, two, three, three
Too many rappers, and there's still not enough MCs
It goes three, three, two, two, one, one
MCA, Ad-Rock, Mike D, that's how we get it done like
Ladies and gents attention, Nas in the house
With Beastie Boys, we can turn it out
Perpetrators, we can point 'em out
So if you got somethin' on your mind, let it out

'Cause this the type of lyric goes inside your brain
To blow you bullshit rappers straight out the frame
My lyrics spin round like a hurricane twister
So get your hologram on off of Wolf Blitzer
    Beginning with their coverage of the U.S. Presidential Election in November of 2008, CNN (and correspondent/anchor Wolf Blitzer) began using a hi-tech hologram system for conducting remote interviews.
Too many rappers to shake a stick at
I outta charge a tax for every weak rap
I had to listen to 'cause we be makin' stacks
Like Stax Records, my squad we gotta pack, we never coming whack
    Stax Records was an independent record company based in Memphis and responsible for the sound known as "Memphis soul" which has been lopped, chopped, and sampled throughout hip-hop history.  In a strange bit of coincidence, legendary Stax session bassist Donald "Duck" Dunn passed away just a few days after Adam Yauch.

To all you crab rappers, and hackers, and circuit benders tweaked on Splenda
I take the cake, I stole the mould
    In baking recipes, they're sometimes listed as having been "tweaked" when no-calorie sugar substitute Splenda has been substituted in place of sugar.  Circuit bender is a slang term for someone who alters the intended use of electronics by "bending" circuits: adding switches, transistors, capacitors, etc.  It's most frequently used with respect to people who do this to electronic music instruments like drum machines and keyboards.  The Beastie Boys have essentially always been circuit benders, pushing the sonic envelope of music with strange sound achieved through electronic components.  The inherent "dis" here seems to be that there are a lot of people who attempt circuit bending but are weak substitutes for the real thing, like Splenda, especially in light of the line which follows it.
The golden microphone, well, that's mine to hold
Now why all these biters all up in my crotchspace
Sniffin', buffin', huffin'
And mean muggin' with the Blimpie Bluffin
    "Mean muggin"  is urban slang for making a hard/serious/mean face, usually directed at someone specifically, but not always. The Blimpie Bluffin is a breakfast sandwich from the Blimpie's chain of sandwich shops.  The real question is why these are together.  Might refer to some ad campaign?  Might mean nothing at all.
Back up off me, sucker! You ain't sayin' nothin'!

I'm broader than Broadway
    Nas lifts a line from Beastie Boys' "Hello Brooklyn"  which is part of "B-Boy Bouillabaisse" that closes Paul's Boutique. "I'm a buffalo soldier, broader than broadway."
I was in the project hallway
Dual tape recorder
Lacing oratorials all day
I'm just gettin' started on this beat, this is foreplay
And when the song's finished, I can sing along with this
By the way, I have a strong fetish for Christian Louboutin steppers
    Christian Louboutin is a French designer of women's footwear.  In particular, the "stepper" refers to a style of platform shoe with a high heel.
I hear Russian blonde's the wettest
    I'm not a hash enthusiast, but what I can discern from the internet is that hash is usually referred to as being black, brown, or blonde.  Blonde hash has a reputation for being more "oily" which releases upon compression, therby becoming "wet" and hard to light for smoking.
But anyway, y'all better pay homage to my fellas
And that's what's on my mind and on the rhyme
Who's next up?

Mike D, the man of mystery
History in the making and now we're taking
Titles, awards, and accolades
Skewer the competition as I sharpen my blades
We come together like peanut butter and sandwiches
Like pen and paper, like Picasso and canvases
    Mike D putting together things that go-together-again:  The only one that might need explanation is that Pablo Picasso was a Spanish painter who's been referenced many times in Beastie Boys lyrics, all the way back to Licesned To Ill.  Maybe that didn't need explaining at all.
Rockin' stadiums to shitty bars
Go back in time, send a fax from my car

One, one, two, two, three, three
Too many rappers, and there's still not enough MCs
It goes three, three, two, two, one, one
MCA, Ad-Rock, Mike D, that's how we get it done like
Ladies and gents attention, Nas in the house
With Beastie Boys, we can turn it out
Perpetrators, we can point 'em out
So if you got somethin' on your mind, let it out

Say It

To the heart of the matter, the mic I shatter
So cold on the mic, I make your teeth chatter
While you climb the corporate ladder
To make your pockets fatter
We be flipping styles like pancake batter

Looking through your binos, spying on me
But I'm running like a whino on a drinking spree
You call yourself an MC, but what's your truth?
Gotta let it loose inside the toll booth

Suckers sniffin' on socks, chewin' on rocks
No complication, want the combination to the lock
You wanna get inside, well, then you best knock-knock
And when you get on, you got to rock nonstop

Once it hits your mind, what'cha gonna do?
Don't keep it inside, you've got to
Say it! Let it out, let it out
Scream it! Gonna shout, gonna shout
Write it! Gotta put it out, put it out
Say it! Get it out, get it out

Watch out, come again now, sucker

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Well, I can feel it in my bloodstream, see it in their eyes
People lining up for their own demise
To help the man make weapons to monetize
Corporate violence, we can't abide

You can keep your bottle service and your cabana
Bust your ass drunk like you slipped on a banana
Like knick-knack, patty whack, you've got to let it out
    From the children's counting rhyme "This Old Man": "With a knick-knack, patty whack, give a dong a bone/This old man came rolling home".
From the mind to the mic, to the word to a shout

Mind to the rhyme, paper to the pen
The brand new dance called the David Rodigan
    David Rodigan is a DJ and reggae toaster, most famous for his work with Shinehead in the late 80s/early 90s.
You sure you really wanna let me begin
You can't stop me rhymin' when I'm on, I'm all in

Life is good and then it gets you
Stuff you thought, it comes true
Once it hits your mind, what'cha gonna do?
Don't keep it inside, you've got to
SAY IT!
Let it out, let it out
SCREAM IT!
Gonna shout, gonna shout
WRITE IT!
Put it out, put it out
SAY IT!
Get it out, get it out

Watch out, come again now, sucker
Watch out, come again now, sucker (uh, suckers)
Watch out, come again now, sucker
Watch out, come again now, sucker (uh, suckers)

The Bill Harper Collection

Another official selection from the Bill Harper collection

*"Hey, Adam, it's Bill...umm, thanks*

Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win

Uh, Beastie Boys, Santigold
Let's do this, y'all
Santigold

Let's go!

It's hot here gotta say it's so
I got you right where I want
Got an honest face so you turn your back (Santigold!)
When in doubt run up your attack
At one time you were slick and your grill was cold
And now funny how the shit gets old
You can run you can run but it will catch up
Like now see me I'll show you up

Now you wanna get back when you had your shine
But you run the same thing every time when you rhyme
Can't stop won't stop no compromise
It's a house of cards built out of lies

Coming down like a bird floating on the mist
Turn on the track, back track and twist
You work hard to climb the list
Twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift
    Lifted from Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues":  "Please her, please him, buy gifts, don't steal, don't lift/Twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift"

I know the danger of a man
Who's been to hell and back again (danger)
Can't tell tomorrow from where you've been (there's danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (danger)

You're caught now by the skin you're in
In a bind now, your thoughts go to all your sins
Hits much harder back, better count on that
I tell you what we know always holds us back
Now you mutter and you stutter and you putter don't stop
I got in your heart and I shook you up
In a bind now your caught by the fear setting in
Choked on the thought that you done it again

Keep the competition in check
You draft your plans at your drafting desk
You try to play to win but now you lost
Like clams with no tartar sauce
Scheming in the attic
Thought you had it
So dramatic
I got the stats mathematics
Automatic-systematic
She's super bad now
Whatcha watcha want now?

I know the danger of a man (there's danger)
Who's been to hell and back again (danger)
Can't tell tomorrow from where you've been (there's danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (there's danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (danger danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win (there's danger)

I know the danger of a man (there's danger)
Who's been to hell and back again (danger)
Can't tell tomorrow from where you've been (there's danger)
Don't play no game that I can't win... (danger)

Don't play no game that I can't win
Don't play no game that I can't win

Long Burn The Fire

This is it y'all, some nasty shits for ya

Jump out the window onto a parade balloon
My style is iller than the goblins in "Troll 2"
    Troll 2 (1990) is a cult B-movie horror film.  It regularly makes the top tens of worst movies of all time.
'Cause I'm the type of MC with the most pizzazz
You're stealing my book like I was Grandmaster Caz
    The story goes that during the recording of The Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" that Big Bank Hank had "borrowed" a notebook of rhymes belonging to Grandmaster Caz (aka Casanova Fly) and used them without permission on the song, and for which Caz never received any credit or compensation.  This is evidenced by Hank's very first line on the song: "I'm the C-A-S-A-N-O-V-A and the rest is F-L-Y."
Got rhymes about antihistamines and analgesics
Rhyme about expectorants, y'all don't see it
Soothsayer, not a player, rhyme sayer extreme
Burn like fire when I step on the scene
I've got shark's teeth so I can bite your head
I've got tiger's claws that'll scratch you dead
I've got wings like a dragon when I'm flying above
Shoot venom from my eyes when it's time to get rough
So step back and check yourself
This MC's got weapons that'll ruin your health
So if you're feeling strong, then reach for yours
My book is my shield and my mic is my sword, sword, sword...

*Long burn the fire
The truth shall set you free*

Now it's Adrock rappin', I'm back again
Like a Big Mac attack on your gut and that's wack, my friend
    One McDonald's advertising campaign for their signature burger in the 80s was the "Big Mac Attack".
I'm a maxer relaxer and I'm chillin'
I take that shit serious like Jerome to grillin'
    In the bonus features of the Awesome: I Fuckin' Shot That DVD, there is a grill-off competition featuring Beastie Boys tour manager Jererome Crooks.  It becomes clear that Jerome takes his grilling seriously.
I burn you to a crisp, sucker, back up off the toaster
I make you sick like at Kenny Rogers Roaster
    Country musician Kenny Rogers opened a chain of restaurants specializing in rotissierie chicken in the 1990s. I seem to recall there being rumors floating around about people getting ill from eating at Kenny Rogers Roasters, but I can't find any corroboration on the internet that this was ever an issue. 
See this rap thing is all about the braggadocio
I check my rear view, MCs ain't gettin' closer
People think I'm slow 'cause I'm just... I'm underchallenged
See me, you're like, "Man, that's remarkable talent"
Live 'round the clock like Disco Donut
    Disco Donut was a 24-hr donut shop that stood on the corner of 14th St. and 3rd Ave in Manhattan's lower east side in the 1970s.
I'm like a tailor 'cause I got the thing sewn up
Or a proctologist, I move asses
Got so much heat that I fog your mom's glasses
Proof is in the pudding and the pudding's in my pants
You heard me rappin' now watch me dance

Long burn the fire
The truth shall set you free

Save the date for when they hoist our number to the rafters
Above the haters, you can hear our laughter
Like Willis Reed or Elton John
We done been in the game and our game's still on
    The practice of "save the date" is an announcement of a future date when something significant is going to occur so that people can make plans (and not make plans) if they wish to attend.  This is most commonly practiced with wedding announcements.  Hoisting numbers to the rafters refers to the practice in basketball of retiring jerseys and jersery numbers.  Traditionally, a memorial jersey is hung from the rafters of the team's court, for instance, Michale Jordan's retired number 23 hangs in the rafters of the Dean Smith Center at the University of North Carolina.  The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame requires that before they can be nominated for induction, that a minimum of 25 years must have passed since the release of an artist's first recording. At the time of the recording of most of this material in 2008-09, the Beastie Boys were "technically" eligible for induction to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, since Pollywog Stew was released in 1982.  However, conventional wisdom was that they would not be considered until the 25th anniversary of Licensed To Ill in 2011.  There are many people who felt that they wouldn't be worthy of such an accolade (the "haters" in the next line).  Lending further credence to this lengthy theory, it seems that New York Knicks Hall-of-Famer Willis Reed and Rock and Roll Hall-of-Famer Elton John are being name dropped to strengthen the analogy.  The choice of these two genetleman in particular conveys the sentiment of people who have been in their respective games for a very long time and still are thriving, just like The Beastie Boys.  John still regularly records hit songs now that he's in his 60s.  Reed (then in his 60s), serving as an executive in the front office of the New Jersey Nets NBA franchise helped lead them to the NBA finals in 2003.  Being inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is the equivalent of hanging jerseys in the rafters, and Mike seems to be saying, "You know when we're going to be inducted, you just watch."  And of course, they were in April 2012.
It's not Tic Tac Toe or Operation
    Tic-Tac-Toe is of course the simply Xs and Os game we all learned as a kid.  Operation was a battery-operated game originally introduced by Milton Bradley in 1965.
Just holding it down like the gravitation
To all the heads that said, "No can do"
Adrock's in the bath filled with chocolate fondue
    I don't know if this was actual ritual, or just a joke, but apparently Ad Rock would unwind after a show with a bubble bath and chocolate fondue.  In May 2007, he posted a photo on the Oscilloscope Labs Flickr stream of a fondue pot and a plate of fruit on a stove with the following caption: "so..yeah...if you wanted to know what it's like for me after the show...here it is...you know..we just played at the sasquatch festival...and when i get back to my room...i mean my executive suite...i like to enjoy a nice bubble bath and i gotta have my swiss/belgium choclate fondue with local/in season fresh fruits....i need these things...you know..so i can perform for you to my best abilities...adam."
Straight up nuts like my name is Mike Bazzini
    Bazzini is a purveyor of various nuts products located in the Bronx, New York City.
Bonafide household name like Sergio Tacchini
    Sergio Tacchini was an Italian professional tennis player active in the 1950s and 60s.  He later became a fashion designer specializing in sportswear.  His "Dallas Track Suit" was very popular among the hiphop community in the 1980s.
"Wasn't we here back on Raising Hell?"
    Beastie boys toured with Run-DMC on their Raising Hell tour in North America and Europe.
Running wild like rats in the Taco Bell
    Probably referring to the YouTube viral video of rats swarming a KFC/Taco Bell in Greenwich Village, NYC in February 2007 around the time this album was being recorded.
On the mic I spit, the match it's lit
Mike Dino, the Jewish Brad Pitt
    Brad Pitt is an American actor who is generally accepted as one of the most handsome men in Hollywood, regularly making "Hottest" and "Sexiest" lists since the 90s.
Making music for librarians to burly jocks
The rapper Mike D, known for my curly locks
    In the mid-to-late 00s, Mike was sporting what could best be described as a Jewfro.

Funk Donkey

Put this on a zip disk, send it to your lawyer
    Mike likes referring to older technologies doesn't he?  The Iomega Zip Drive was a late 1990s high capacity storage solution.  Zip disks offered exponentially more storage than standard floppy disks, however, their life was brief, as writable CDs essentially killed them.
File me under "Funky"

Like sipping lemonade and Arnold Palmers
    An Arnold Palmer (named for the famous professional golfer) is a beverage made by combining equal parts iced tea and lemonade.
Big holiday parties like Dolly Parton
    Not sure if there is some specific reason for this reference, but country musician Dolly Parton has a long history of Christmas records, television specials, and home videos.

Sometimes I get Pad Thai as a starter
My other order, Pad See Yew, is much darker
   Pad Thai and Pad See Yew are both stir fry dishes of Thai cuisine.
Adam Horovitz, I take a shvitz
    In Yiddish, shvitz literally means to sweat.  Coloquially, it is used most often in the phrase "take a shvitz" which refers to having a steam bath or sauna.
I'm known for my glamour and my glitz, check it

As I bust, I really must encrust
This microphone rust with Diamond fairy dust

I don't wear Crocs and I don't wear sandals
    Crocs brand shoes are made from rubber/plastic and became insanely popluar in the late 00s, to the point of it being a fad and then suffering from a major wave of backlash.
The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handle
    Another lift from Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" and actually drifts back into the line which precedes it.  Original lyrics: "Don't wear sandals, try to avoid the scandals/Don't wanna be a bum, you better chew gum/The pump don't work 'cause the vandals took the handles."

Stop singing that song in the wrong key
What you looking at? Funky donkey
Funky donkey
Funky donkey

I-I-I-I-I go wooooo-woo like a fire engine
Flashing lights to get your attention

Stop sweating me about the weather
Go shave a sheep and knit yourself a sweater

Don't get me heated or y'all in trouble
Bass bins booming make the dancehall bubble

Letting loose all up in the honkey tonk
With the shoopa doopa doo bedonk

Well, I was swimming in the water of the ocean
Like Dr. Jekyll with the magic potion
    The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde, a novella written by Robert Louis Stevenson and published in 1886.

We're brand new, never ever the same
What's that, what's that, what's the name?
Funky donkey
Funky donkey
Funky donkey


The Larry Routine

Oh, this routine dates way back
A lot of people may remember this routine
But it's evolved, now
Yeah, from the summer before last

Well, my name's Mike D and I got a new name
And that new name is Larry

Well, my name is Adrock band I got a new name
And that new name is Harry

Well, my name is MCA but I got a new name
And that new name is Gary

But our DJ's name has stayed the same
'Cause his new name is Barry

Tadlock's Galsses

Now it's suffice to say that I'm nicer
Nice in the cut and, yes, I'm the slicer
Or should I say I'm the filleter
I hate the game, I hate the player
But don't get discombobulated and upset
Because trust me, we ain't even begun yet

Mike D's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
Adrock's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
MCA's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
And you don't stop, the body rock

Watch me make it pop, now I make it sizzle
As I flip your omelet up at the b bizzle
I'm like Molto Mario, they call me Tasty D
    American chef Mario Batali had a show on The Food Network called Molto Mario that filmed from 1997-2004.
Your quick fire challenge, freak the hijiki
    The "quick fire challenge" is a component of the Top Chef teleivision show on Bravo.  Hijiki is a type of seaweed used in Japanese cuisine.  "Freaky Hijiki" was also a title of one of the tracks on the Beastie Boys' instrumental album The Mix Up (2007).
You can call me chef 'cause it's bonafide
Knife skills on the block that I'm taking worldwide

Mike D got it locked and we rock it nonstop
Adrock got it locked and we rock it nonstop
MCA got it locked and we rock it nonstop
And then you don't stop, the body rock

I've got bass lines bubbling up on out of my hands
Don't want to never play nothin' that sounds too grand
Shazam! I sprinkle on some magic dust
You've got a bagel in your pants and that's a must
Plus I cuss and I grab my nuts
Got a six finger ring that says "excuse our dust"

Mike D's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
Adrock's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
MCA's got it locked and we rock it nonstop
And you don't stop, the body rock

Sometimes things just don't connect

Lee Majors Come Again

Fuck! Goddamnit, this thing. Alright, wait. Hold on, Adam. This thing keeps fallin' off.

Woo! Doin' it big! Ah-ah!

I'm the lyrical, mathematical genius
Splashing like lime juice, you've never seen this
Internationally known, the longest, the leanest
Shout-out to one José Nenis

I hit 'em with the rhyme and the rhyme don't stop
We got the beat and the beat go drop
The ping pong paddle make the battle go pop
Now take a look around this spot

I'm seeing every detail like an over-cranked camera
Sleestaks in the back say 'Damn ya'
You say 'I can't' and I say 'Why can't ya?'
Chopping the track in the--in the land of...

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

There's a bird in here
That's my DJ, not Doctor Brassiere
Dropping bombs like a bombardier
Like cacao, it's a chocolatier

We're giving y'all a lil slice of heaven
B Boys bringing it back to A7
Deal with the schism, ride on the rhythm
Sweet like pie and the pie's what I give 'em

I'll stage a coup and usurp your position
'Cause--'cause like a Mormon, I'm on a mission
We're audible-visible
Cadence is lyrical
Got the mental and physical
When the moment is critical

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

Ruff!
Uh, Lee Majors come again

Like the Six Dil- Million Dollar Man
Woo! Watch out!
In the back of the bus...gonna bust!
Lee Majors style

I said stop! Watch how I flip
Bill Piedmont with the Kung-Fu grip
Haymaker, roundhouse, show can't continue
At the roller rink down in Virginia

Oh, yeah, did I spill the beans?
I see your grandpa in Apple Bottom jeans
A Von Dutch cap, Ugg boots to match
The word gets out, you can't take it back

I'm just a pause tape competition expert winner
Just a doggone, long-armed, tall yarn spinner
You want a battle? Easy now, star
My DJ's so nasty, he needs a sneeze guard

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

You wanna buy this
You wanna take that
Wanna-wanna try this
Wanna-wanna make that
You can't abide this
You wanna fake that
Take a look around you

Multilateral Nucler Disarmament

(Instrumental)

Here's A Little Something For Ya

Yes, yes, yes
Ill out the gate, I set it off
I suppose you're exposed, so get lost
And break north, cut all connections
Join the sucker MC witness protection

M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mike D
Step off the launch in the place to be
Always on time so I never botch
The tick to the tock of the Mike D watch

Here's a little something for ya
I'ma drive a little and stall ya
Don't lose your balance and fall ya
And if you're feeling chilly I'ma get you a shawl

Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
It's not done yet (done yet)
Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
Here's a little something for ya

Honest Mike, what? Honest Mike D
Don't really care if the press likes me
I just speak my conscience, just speak my mind
I don't trip or flip and then I start to find

Queens up front, Brooklyn's in the back
Flak from FlaK guns, riot squads smokin' crack
    FlaK is actually an acronym of German origin that was used in naming their line of WWII era anti-aircraft guns, the most of famous being the 88mm FlaK, sometimes simply called "the eighty-eight". The acronym is derived from the German words Flugzeugabwehr-Kanone or Flugabwehr-Kanone, which means "anti aircraft cannon". The guns utilized highly explosive ammunition designed to fling shrapnel through the air in the vicinity of aircraft.  Allied Forces began calling the shrapnel from the guns "flak".
The odds are stacked for those who lack
I been a lucky motherfucker when it comes to that

I slow roast, I'm steady tappin'
Oh, yes, I guess I'm the toast of Manhattan
In Miami, I'm sleazy with John Salley
Shout out to Andre Leon Talley

Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
It's not done yet (done yet)
Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
Here's a little something for ya

The shit is crazy
The shit is crazzzeee

Dr. Carlton Brassiere, a.k.a. Joyce
Dr. Bombay is the ladies' choice
Step on stage to the smoke from dry ice
Every time we bring it twice as nice

Now ease up brethren, take an Excedrin
Only name check to rhyme is Tippi Hedren
I'm lookin' fine, I'm gettin' much finer
Steady lounging in my La-Z-Boy recliner

Losing it in traffic, amped up on coffee
Like kids going wild after school for Mr. Softee
Like a slice around the corner, uh, it's sneaking up on ya
Breathing down your neck, uh, it's creeping up on ya

Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
It's not done yet (done yet)
Get ready, get set (get set)
Place your bet (your bet)
What you get (you get)
Here's a little something for ya

Crazy Ass Shit

On and on to the break of dawn
On and on to the break of dawn
On and on to the break of dawn
On and on to the break of dawn

Now let me introduce myself, I'm Adrock
No matter what you order, well, I got it in stock
The doody rhyme thing, well, we got it on lock
Top off the look with the Argyle sock

Take it from me now, I'm gonna give it all I got
I take a licking, still tick-tick-tock
But smoked salmon ain't old school lox
I go to Peter Brady and I buy Greg's sox

It's Mike on the mic and I'm known to please
Stinky nasty like the head cheese
Caps, gowns, honorary degrees
Rhymes fresh pressed like '83 Lees

You can't stop, you got to keep on
You can't stop, you got to keep on

I mean that's all I got, except I've just got...
Even Michael Diamond him never learn
Atop him head, him have a curly perm

Tissue up my nose and my dick's in a cast
I don't wanna talk about it, past is past
All you crusty punks that are into Crass
Go and take a shower and wash that ass

We rock nonstop here in New York City
Sweet on the mic, looking so damn pretty
Served by me, well, it must feel shitty
Weird thing to say here, it goes tough titty

I've got rhymes in a pitcher and it's time to pour
I'm at the tee and I'm screaming "Fore!"
Hit into your party as I declare war
Roberta Peterson's got a spine like a dinosaur

You can't stop, you got to keep on
You can't stop, you got to keep on
You can't stop, you got to keep on

On and on to the break of dawn

Brass monkey, you're the funky
Brass monkey, you're the funky
Brass monkey, you're the funky
Brass monkey, you're the funky monkey

The Lisa Lisa/Full Force Routine

Awww, shit

Whoa, what?

Front (front), back (back)
Sucker grab a snack (snack) pack
I (I) got (got)
Young-Holt wack (wack)
Get (get) down (down)
Grade A ground round (round)
Sound that you're lovin'
Givin'(givin') us a pound (pound)
Full (Full) Force (Force)
Lisa Lisa, Cult Jam
All (all) night (night)
Listening to dope man
You could (you could) say (say)
Yes, we're looking pretty (pretty)
Money (money) making (making)
New York City